My gf was raped and i dont no wat to do?!
Question: my gf 19 and im 22, She is extremly good looking and i have been with her for around 8 months, in march (may now) she went really quiet and seemed distant. she went off sex and wouldnt even let me touch her. i asked her what was wrong and she told me when she was 15 she was raped by a gang of older lads from her school. my inital thought was to find the guys who did this to her and beat the **** out of them. she grew up without a mum and had been brought up by her dad and 2 brothers, she has been through some crazy **** & i really respect her. but after she told me this she doesnt want to have sex, i dont understand cause we used to do it 4-5 times a week and she was always in the mood for it. now she says she just doesnt want to, iv done everything i can to get her in the mood e.g kissing her neck and wisperin in her ear, giving her a massage while in tha bath but she wont, we both have very strong feelings for each other. i really want to make her (& me) happy again PLZ HELP . . .
Answers: my gf 19 and im 22, She is extremly good looking and i have been with her for around 8 months, in march (may now) she went really quiet and seemed distant. she went off sex and wouldnt even let me touch her. i asked her what was wrong and she told me when she was 15 she was raped by a gang of older lads from her school. my inital thought was to find the guys who did this to her and beat the **** out of them. she grew up without a mum and had been brought up by her dad and 2 brothers, she has been through some crazy **** & i really respect her. but after she told me this she doesnt want to have sex, i dont understand cause we used to do it 4-5 times a week and she was always in the mood for it. now she says she just doesnt want to, iv done everything i can to get her in the mood e.g kissing her neck and wisperin in her ear, giving her a massage while in tha bath but she wont, we both have very strong feelings for each other. i really want to make her (& me) happy again PLZ HELP . . .
Ok First step back at look at this maybe all she is needing is just for you to hold her and be that person she can talk to! Don't try to have sex with her let her come to you! I have been there at 15 I was forced to have sex with by BF at the time! I have had a BF that ever night all i wanted is to be held and all he wanted to have sex we end breaking up over it! She might just be going thought a tuff time right now! i know that i have days and weeks like this! I would sit down with her and ask her what she needs you to do? I really think that if you just back off the sex thing for awhile and not try at all, she might come around! I find that the more push the guy is for sex the less I want it!
see a psiciatrist (im not kidding) both of you
just give her a little more time
You can get to her heart through her mind. Talk, talk, talk about anything at all. Build trust and rapport. Be very patient and supportive of her feelings. Before kissing her, ask her if it's O.K. She needs to come to a point of forgiveness in order to be fully healed. In spite of everything, she still may never come around, but all you can do is try and give her time.
right now, dont think about sex, just try to comfort her and make her feel safe with you. Gain her trust back, she needs to know that you love her and you dont want to take advantage of her, or use her for sex.
see a councerler. then sign her up for thearapy with her permission. mabey look at some porn (not tons) not kidding. then u'll lay off her for a while.
I wish I could give you an amazing-life-altering-answer, but I cant. All I have to say is, give her some time to recover, or talk about it with her. Make sure that she feels comfortable around you, and let her know that you wont abuse her. Or if all that doesnt work, maybe you could get her some help with her permission.
Your girlfriend is going through traumatic memories of being raped........she is not in the mood to have sex when those memories are coming up..........if you can , try to be patient and if you do love her can you wait till she is ready? it might or might not be a while.........
It might help her to get some professional counseling........having someone that she can talk to about what happened......someone who is not judgemental and wont hold it against her for all the things she is going through...
try and help her find an counselor that is able to deal wiht past sexual trauma.....if she wants it.
be there for her
there are some websites that might help........
you should get some help. both of you go together. maybe she saw one of the guys and its bringing those feelings back ? either way you should both see a therapist
Obviously she never reported the rape. She needs to work through this with professional help. She needs a psychiatrist.
i think that u should support her and that when she is ready 2 she'll have sex with u again, but 4 the time being i think u should support her and b there 4 her and ask if there is anything u could do 4 her but again u should prob just wait 2 have IT!!!!
give her time we as guys dont have a clue what a woman goes through after something so ruthless as this ...the worst thing you could do is end up in jail for kicking the **** out of these pukes ... i would probably feel the same as you though ...use your head ... give her lots of time .. gentle ... be a friend !!!