I have to explain all of this to her.. any advice?!
Question: I (19) have to expplain the birds and the bees to my little sister (now 13). Our mother passed away the year girls usually learn about this sort of stuff. I live with my sister and she really wants to know, and I have to tell her since it is sort of late in life for her to learn. She wants to know about masturbation and about why sex feels good and what it is. I need to know some of the basics so I know I really inform her. Just list some things that I should be sure to mention, and if you want to give me an example lecture or whatever my email is listed in the "additional details" below my question description. This is a way for my sister and I to become closer and I dont want her to learn about these things the way I learned (websites)
Answers: I (19) have to expplain the birds and the bees to my little sister (now 13). Our mother passed away the year girls usually learn about this sort of stuff. I live with my sister and she really wants to know, and I have to tell her since it is sort of late in life for her to learn. She wants to know about masturbation and about why sex feels good and what it is. I need to know some of the basics so I know I really inform her. Just list some things that I should be sure to mention, and if you want to give me an example lecture or whatever my email is listed in the "additional details" below my question description. This is a way for my sister and I to become closer and I dont want her to learn about these things the way I learned (websites)
No - its NOT late in life for her to learn.
Buy her a vibrator like the Hitichi magic wand. (Face it - you would rather she learn to give herself orgasms rather than find a boy - right?)
You have to explain why masturbation feels good and is normal to do 1-2 times per day and more or less based on hormones.
There are lots of good books which can explain the physical side and you should get one and skim through it with her, then leave it for her to explore.
Buy a 20 pack of condoms and put them in her bathroom. These are for 'friends' if she becomes worried they are having un-protected sex. Promise to keep the supply up if she goes through them.
(These are the things I did with my daughters. )
What you can do: Get a banana or two and show her how to roll condoms on. Follow with ice-cream to make banana splits and this will be your inside joke.
(Having sex builds intimacy between boys and girls, having frank & honest talk with some laughter will build it between you and your sis.)
THE TALK:
My advice: separate your talk into the physical & the emotional. The book is a great reference on the physical, but they never seem to touch on the emotional, social issues around sex.
You have to explain about how boys will say ANYTHING to get under her shirt and into her panties - and this does not make them evil, but ... boys.
Explain how as soon as she has sex with a boy - the relationship will CHANGE. He will expect it every time so she needs to be careful with whom she plays with.
Good luck.
Tell her that when a man and a woman fall in love they have sex, and it feels good bc from an evolutionary aspect it is effective in encouraging people to reproduce
just tell her everything she wants to know.but make it clear that you dont want her having sex until she is married.but dont give her to much detail about y sex feels good.you can tell her about masturbating because even if she doesnt do it its normal.
Go to the library...do research for just the right books...call Planned Parenthood...ask for appropriate literature...I admire you! You are a GREAT big sister. You'll do just fine. You have a sweet and gentle spirit and are filled with caring and love. kjl
answer whatever questions she asks... the one thing that really really bugs me is this whole dont give teens too much info or they'll want to try having sex attitude, like it or not teenagers are going to explore sex and it is the duty of their parents brothers sisters or whoever they talk to about it to give them the necessary information. Do as much research as you can in books and on the web give her info on sti's, pregnancy birth control etc etc and make it clear that no matter what you are there to talk to her about everything and always will be... teenagers that dont have access to information will figure out other means of getting answers and alot of the time this will lead to exploration of sex itself, sex is a personal experience though and it should be left to the individual how they treat the matter and with the right guidance and information whatever decision they make will atleast be an informed one...
Get a really basic sex/woman's body book. My mom explained things to me when I was 13 or so, and to this day I wished I had an informative book instead. It's awkward at that age....
A "kaya kalpa course" is being conducted by World Community Service Center ( WCSC ).The WCSC is having its head quarter at Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India. visit the site:
www.http://vethathiri.org / home/
You can find a nearest place in USA where they conduct this course.
First you attend that course and make your sister attend the same if you find use full.
It is anon religious one to show a good path to all.God bless you and your sister.
catch me on line later and I'll chat with u n ur sis abt it all it was nice talking to you in im last night