Ashamed of my body.?!
Question: My hubby likes big breasts and I have small. After nursing two kids they're still, leaking (a little). Trying not to be explict : Even though he says it's not really big, I am not as small as he would like. I have stretch marks on bellly and breasts. I don't shave, you know where, and he says that's okay, but at first he hated it and still doesn't go downtown.
I don't want to have sex anymore and he says that I should. He says he accepts my defects and still wants me so all this should be okay. I don't want him looking at me without my clothes on. Should I be able to just get over it? How?
Answers: My hubby likes big breasts and I have small. After nursing two kids they're still, leaking (a little). Trying not to be explict : Even though he says it's not really big, I am not as small as he would like. I have stretch marks on bellly and breasts. I don't shave, you know where, and he says that's okay, but at first he hated it and still doesn't go downtown.
I don't want to have sex anymore and he says that I should. He says he accepts my defects and still wants me so all this should be okay. I don't want him looking at me without my clothes on. Should I be able to just get over it? How?
Sweetheart first of all I want you to do something for me , STOP running your self down, you have smaller breasts so what they probably match your body also when you are fifty they will not be hanging down around your waist , also remind you husband that what is the good having breasts that are bigger than can fit in your hand.s Next point althought he says it is not really big, it is not as small as he would like, bloody cheek you have just had two children, if he had a bigger dick perhaps you might be happier.
The stretch marks on your tummy and breasts every mother in the land has those do not worry about it. It is your pubic hair, but if you want to remove it try a dipilortry cream, easier and no chance of cutting your self. If he does want to have oral sex with you that is his loss and if you want him to do it make it a condition of having intercourse that he gives you an orgasm orally first, your entitled to be satisfied every bit as him. It is a shame that this oafish attitude of his has stopped you wanting to have sex as you will miss out on having pleasure that you should both be getting from making love.
Tell him that you do not have defects, only cars and machinary have defects, as for him looking at you with out your clothes on, be proud of your body you have just had two children be proud of that as well. Make love to him on your terms and when you feel like it . you sound georgous to me
seems like you have the same thing i do. its called b.d.d (body dysmorphic disorder). well, i try not put myself in self-analytical situations because if i do i will go into deep depresion mode. i want to have so many surgeries, but i know it wont help my situation. so, i might seek help....
yea i completely understand where u're coming from. i cant stand when people touch or look at me. when people stare at me i feel so raw and like they can see every single flaw times 10. its an awful feeling.
There has got to be a reason you feel like this, and it's probably your husband (who I'm assuming actually said you had "defects"). You need to talk to him about this, because even though security needs to come with in, he SHOULD be helping with this. Perhaps some kind of marriage or sex counselling would be good.
This is coming from a guy- if he really loves you he shoudnt care about how you look. And at least trim you hair thats gross
I dont think you can just get over feeling like that..It just sounds to me like your self-esteem is a little low..Do something special for yourself.Go out and buy a new outfit, something that makes you feel sexy :-) Get a new haircut, anything that makes you feel special or pretty or anything along those lines. If nothing helps I would suggest talking to someone who is licensed to help people in those situations :-) I wish you all the best
Did he really use the word defects? Ouch...
Womens bodies do change considerably after pregnancy and breastfeeding, unfortunately in all the areas we seem to be most self consious about. Unless you have pots of cash and are willing to go under the knife I'd suggest some self help/positive thinking techniques to help you be more confident about the way you look.
Also, stop using the word defects, hun, cuz that really aint helping you!!
Ohhhh my. Sweetie they aren't defects. It's part of life. You had HIS children. I wish i could hug you right now. He should love you for you, he should love your body, love your breasts, big or small. Wedding vows say "for better or worse". That means through thick and think...aka when we get old a gray and fat i will still love you and your body.
Don't be ashamed. You're beautiful the way you are.
But if you really really want to change your body...use some coco butter lotions for your stretch marks =) That will make you feel better about yourself, which is all that matters.
Having married intercourse renews and binds the spouses to each other. So intercourse is very important. You don't have to shave but you could trim a bit to make it more appealing. Not being as small as you like means you think you are fat. That means you need to work on that. When it is warm out taking the baby for walks in his buggy or stroller will get you both needed fresh air and you fitness. Stop eating products made with flour. Undress before your husband, get in bed and under the sheet. Let him start with body massage so you relax and then feel aroused and you should find it a lot easier desire intercourse. You could also suggest that if he would do cunnilingus on you it would help open you up to being sexual.
I feel your pain after I had my son my body changed alot same as yours and I was very depressed, for some reason I just stop taking care of myself not shaving or putting on makeup. No one helped me feel better my boyfriend would call me big girl or fat girl. That really messed with my self-esteem. But it didnt last for long I started going to the gym and in 4 months I had my body back! Well I still had stretch marks but I looked good and I felt good and it give me that confidence I needed. Start thinking of a way to help you feel better about yourself and then it wont matter what anyone thinks.