Teen preganancy?!
Question: My best friend is only 17 and she just found out she is pregant.
Her and her boyfriend have only been dating about 6 months and are in no way shape or form finacially secure to bring up a child.
To make matters worse, her boyfriend has a substance abuse problem - alcohol and drugs.
I have talked to her about an abortion (she is only a month or so gone) however she isnt too sure about it. She confided in me that she is not 100% sure about it either, however she doesnt know how her family will react if she has an abortion and cost is another factor too.
I am going to support her as much as I can but if I was in her situation I would abort it - how can I help her deal with this and do you think it is wrong of me to talk about other options (ie abortion) and if I do speak of other options, how can I go about it without offending her too much.
How can I make her see that she is too young and it is not the right time.
Answers: My best friend is only 17 and she just found out she is pregant.
Her and her boyfriend have only been dating about 6 months and are in no way shape or form finacially secure to bring up a child.
To make matters worse, her boyfriend has a substance abuse problem - alcohol and drugs.
I have talked to her about an abortion (she is only a month or so gone) however she isnt too sure about it. She confided in me that she is not 100% sure about it either, however she doesnt know how her family will react if she has an abortion and cost is another factor too.
I am going to support her as much as I can but if I was in her situation I would abort it - how can I help her deal with this and do you think it is wrong of me to talk about other options (ie abortion) and if I do speak of other options, how can I go about it without offending her too much.
How can I make her see that she is too young and it is not the right time.
ignore what "precious princess" said - your friend isn't a dirty hoe !!!! plenty girls her age are having sex - she was just v unlucky (or careless - i dont know) to get caught.
all you ca do is support her whatever her decision is - i wouldn't try too much to influence the choice she makes as if it ends up not being the right one for her the she could eventually hold it against you - and anyway - with something as big as this it has got to be totally her decision... i had my first child at 19 and i don't regret having him for a single second - but it wasn't easy!!! your life totally changes and you have to put some one else first constantly ... but the love you get back is priceless!!! looking back now - i wouldn't change who he is for anything - i just wish that i had had him a bit later in life!! why my friends where going out partying every week and buying clothes and going on girly holidays - i was at home with a baby .... the plus side is that now he is at an age where he is a lot more independent and we have a really good relationship.
at the end of the day - she is till in the very early stages and she needs to think about herself and make a decision that she is going to have to stick by for the rest of her life - either way its not going to be easy.
hope she works it out xx
explain to her how the rest of her life will be dependent on this baby, wont be able to get a job because looking after baby, snobby people judging.. so on
You can't "make" her see anything, all you can do is offer her support and be there for her. By all means talk through other options like abortion with her, but don't force your opinion on her or she'll feel even more trapped and under pressure. Ultimately, the decision is hers, and she's going to have to make some difficult choices, but if you want to be a real friend then you'll stand by her and not pass judgement, no matter what she chooses to do.
Talk to her, try and convince her she has a education and its not the right time for a baby. my friend wanted a baby so bad... im 15 and shes 13... she got pregant but thing is she cant have a baby i had to help her out as after a few months pregant she went toilet and cried for help as shes sat there and all this lumpy blood and such came out of her. i feel bad for her but then again shes 13.. ive convinced her she has a education and she should really have the baby after the education if she wants one so bad.
but if hes on alchol and drugs... then wouldent that make the relationship unstable abit? my appolgies for saying that ^^;
but talk to her and see what she really wants to do about this, i understand shes far to young for a child yet, tell her you think its best if your in a much more stable relationship as in theyve been together for a year or 2 or something, ive read many posts of young people at the ag of 16 and 15 and they find out theyre pregant told therer boyfriends and then break up as soon as they hear the news, i dont know your friend but seeing as theyve been together for 6 months its gonna hit her like a flying toilet seat... you can do what ive listed, or just talk to her and tell her what you think and see if she can ponder about it... i donno D:
Tell her you will suppoert her no matter what, Abortions are free, babies are not.
Ask her to think about the man she is with, I had my first child at 17 and I love him lots but do wish I had waited until I was older, His ftaher has had nothing to do with us since my little boy was 6 months old, he is now 9 years and I have done it alone, ask her to think about the future and not to rush the choice she has until she is 12 weeks to abort if that is what she decides to do.
Good luck, if she is a true frind she will take on board that you are trying to help her.
You are a good clever friend.
FIRST, it is important to clarify if she is ready for pregnancy. Read and learn more about "Best time for pregnancy" in http://www.menstrual-cycle.info
SECOND, it is important to know that she can have safe medical abortion (without instruments!) and she can ask doctor to provide tablets (mifepriston) for safe abortion.
Good Luck!
NO NO NO!
DO NOT GET AN ABORTION.
It is her fault for having sex.
She needs to have the baby, and then If she doesn't want it, she should give it up for adoption, or to another family member..
you have to think how aborting her child will effect her she's the ibe that has to live with it the rest of her life.
don't talk her into an abortion if she doesn't want it ..
money is always a thing to worry about but once you have the baby you will find a way my ma says that al the time and it's true what would you rather have alot or money or a happy family ? tell the boy to get help rehab or something there's alot out there now days..
just look ..
hope this help good luck sweetie ...
You have crossed the line from wanting to support her to trying to decide for her. You are trying to influence her to do what YOU think she should do. If you are really her friend, it's not fair to pressure her at this time. She has pressure enough already. "Support" means you sit there and listen and accept whatever she decides to do. Don't keep telling her she should abort. You've said your piece, she knows what you think, now leave it at that.
I was in your shoes once. And I was dead wrong to push my friend in the direction I did. I have regretted it for twenty years. Things did not turn out for the best, and a big part of the responsibility was mine. I should never have assumed I knew what was best for her, short-term or long-term. You really should back off now, or you may find yourself spending decades wishing you'd kept your mouth shut, just like I have done.
she would be stupid to keep it!
poor kid will ended up with a screwed up life because she made a simple mistake.
she is to young to know barely anything about life and the world. it would be like a year 1 kid trying to teach a kindergarten
tell your friend to stop being a dirty hoe.