Virgin.....?!
Question: ok this is going to sound really weird ok but i need a bit of help. I'm about to turn 22 in a few months, and im still a virgin. iv had a good few boyfriends but because of the way i was brought up i decided to wait till marriage before doing the deed.
Part of the reason iv stayed a virgin is cos iv got myself worked up over the first time, i am so scared of bleeding and hurting. I actually tried to have sex with my boyfriend, we had the setting and the mood just right, but when we tried it was so sore that we had to stop. Im talking proper agony!! i never bled, and he didnt even really go inside. he was very gentle and made me feel at ease, but this experience has left me cold and terrified, i want to get it over with but i have no idea where to go from here, i feel really upset, i feel like a freak. is thrre something wrong with me? can someone pls give me some advice?
Answers: ok this is going to sound really weird ok but i need a bit of help. I'm about to turn 22 in a few months, and im still a virgin. iv had a good few boyfriends but because of the way i was brought up i decided to wait till marriage before doing the deed.
Part of the reason iv stayed a virgin is cos iv got myself worked up over the first time, i am so scared of bleeding and hurting. I actually tried to have sex with my boyfriend, we had the setting and the mood just right, but when we tried it was so sore that we had to stop. Im talking proper agony!! i never bled, and he didnt even really go inside. he was very gentle and made me feel at ease, but this experience has left me cold and terrified, i want to get it over with but i have no idea where to go from here, i feel really upset, i feel like a freak. is thrre something wrong with me? can someone pls give me some advice?
Well do you have a sex drive or are you forcing yourself. If you are forcing your self you arent relaxed which means you might not be well lubricated.
Try Ky jelly or some other lubricant that you can get at your local wal mart. Also try different positions Missionary might not work for you on your first time and you might have to try doggy style or somthing in order for it to go in and then you can switch......
On the other hand if you were in that much pain check your doctor cause it might be you have vaginismus(which basically means your vagina is to small for a penis). Women with that disorder they have to work there way up to having a penis inside of the using many different size dildos before having there partner come inside. I looked up an article that may help you
go see like a sex doctor or ur gynocologist but I think u should wait till marriage.
I think it's great...
I think it's normal to be concerned...
I think when you find the right partner... it will be effortless and perhaps even PAINLESS.
Please don't feel like a FREAK for doing the right kinds of things... and thinking the right kinds of thoughts.
wait till maerige and the first time you only have a little of squzing and the bleeding of the first time stays in there and it dosnt come out it come out untill u have your next period
No their is nothing wrong with you just your nervous about somethings try to do something else to get your mind off of it!!! your normal don't worry
First of all there is nothing wrong with you. Plenty of girls want to wait until they're married to have sex. If you think something is wrong with your body then you should tell your doctor. Maybe they can check to see if everything is working properly.
I applaud u for not being like every1 else and as far as the pain.. it only hurts until it's over but don't do something you might regret just because you want to get it over with. make sure that is what u really want because once u give it away u can never get it back
You should talk to your doctor right away. You can also talk to a friend who might have gone through this. You can go to your friend just for advice, too.
i wouldnt worry about it, its normal to be a bit nervous. you could try materbation to make yourself more at ease with the whole thing
you should of just went with it. it always hurts like hell the first few minutes and than it would have got WAY better.
Don't feel stupid. The first time always hurts. It hurt so bad for me too,to the point we had to stop. I felt a bit guilty at first then got over it. After our second time it was a breeze. He just goes in and it doesn't hurt much. It can only hurt if you are dry down there and not turned on so be sure to be turned on..lol..after that it doesn't hurt at all..
well its good that you're a virgin.
Maybe you just weren't aroused enough. It takes a good deal of arousal before your muscles can relax and widen enough to be able to allow a penis inside you. Also, the more nervous you are and the more you work yourself up, the more it's gonna hurt cause your muscles won't allow anything in.
The pain of the hymen breaking is just what's gonna happen. I'm sure its not gonna feel like your liver is being torn out and most likely you're blowing it out of proportion. You'll bleed a little but probably not much if the guy is properly gentle. Also, to reduce pain from the hymen breaking, he should insert it gently, not just ram it in.
If it's something genuinely wrong in your physiology then you should see your ob-gyn to see what's wrong.
Well, technically if his penis was inside of you then you had sex. Penetration even without an orgasm=sex. No it is normal to be scared about your first time in anything but especially when having sex. There is nothing wrong with being afraid and even a little embarassed. But you shouldn't be. To be honest the first time sucks for a lot of people. But as long as you decide to have sex with a nice guy who is considerate of you then sex will get better. Most likely your hymen (the tissue that bleeds when it breaks) is already broken. Most girls have it broken from riding a bike or horse or just plain anything. And yeah, the first time is gonna hurt just when you decide to engage in sex tell the guy to be very gentle and move inside of you gradually so it doesn't all hurt at once.
Talk to your friends about their first times. And why are you still a virgin? Is it for yourself or your parents? If you feel like you want to have sex then just have it you are not obligated to have the same standards your parents had or try to bestow on you. You're a grown women and I assume your not that religious if you experimented with pre-martial sex. "You gotta test drive the car before you drive it." Honestly the only way you'll get over your sex fear is if you actually have sex. But on your own terms when your ready.
no you are not a freak. you should have sex when you are ready and for me that was 26 and unmarried. i would also like to suggest that you learn as much as you can about your body and sex before sharing it with someone. Urban Tantra is a good place to start
There's nothing wrong with you. The social lax of sexuality in today's generation is both a blessing and hindrance. However, because we have become so casual about our sexuality it has brought about psycho sociological ostracization and a mental over physical or emotional need for sexual contact. If you feel as if you need or want sex there's no reason to jump on any such "band wagon" so to speak. It doesn't make you weird not to want to "give it up". However, this does go back to the stigma of being a virgin. Guys ,in general, view female virgins as "teases" because according to them they use sex as a weapon and put it on a pedestal. On the other hand or the other side of the argument many see those who decide to have sex early or to have multiple partners or even a casual partner to be those who devalue the emotional and overall significance of the act of sex. Wholly, these two parties do confuse that there is a difference between sex and love. Love is not required to have sex and sex is not required to have love, however they are pen pals and usually do go hand in hand. I can't pretend to be able to diagnose your specific psychological personifications when it comes to this phobia you seem to have. If I were to speculate I would say that this phobia is rooted in your expectations and the value you place on sex. In your world, I assume, sex holds a very important place and though it isn't acted upon it obviously is given a fair amount of thought. This holds true for most any virgin and as you are more comfortable with your partner this phobia should go away. From the sound of it you are still not ready ,mentally. There's no specific age when someone is sexually prepared ,but as society has regulated the normalcy, it's sometime after 17 and sometime before 40 ,but to put an actual age range on something that has so much invested into it would be ignorant and inhumane. People are not products of their society; society is a product of it's people. Yes, individual influence is involved ,but in the end individuals act as they want to act.
your definitely not a freak- you shouldnt be upset and I give you props for waiting so long to have sex...you sound almost identical to me with alot of your thoughts and feelings- Im currently 23 and I also always thought that I was going to wait until marriage, which is admirable if people choose to do that. However, I lost my virginity when I was 22 to my current bf and I was also horrified of the pain and blood that I thought I would experience...it was painful for a while, maybe the first few weeks of him trying to break me in slowly. However, I never bled. He should take the process slowly and never insert all the way until your ready for that- I think that would really be painful...I would recommend using LOTS of lubrication and him using LOTS of foreplay on you. Realize that alot of pain is psychologial also, so when he is breaking you in, try to not think about the pain...I would also make sure that this is something you truly want to go through with...will you be ok with the thought that if he leaves you one day or you want to leave him that you are no longer a virgin? I think about this often with my bf as I am unsure of how much longer I want to continue being with him- although I enjoy sex, I STILL wish to only have sex with one man in my life...
Nothing is wrong with you. Waiting till marriage is usually the best idea. You shouldn't have sex until you're with someone that you know you can have a long-term relationship with and are comfortable around. The soreness and hurting are because the muscle in your vagina are tight (thus the terms she's tight, she's loose). It's completely normal. If you don't want it to bother you that much then start sticking fingers up there.. or have him do it during foreplay. Also lubrication can help tons. It will hurt the first few times (for me it was about a week) but the more you do it, the looser it gets and you'll finally be able to actually enjoy it without any pain.
I have a decent background in this area as I am an adjuct anatomy professor and let me tell you are not a freak and should not at all be embarassed for having these feelings. I will tell you this however, it may not seem like it now but there are a lot of benfits to waiting until you are married to have sex... but that's a different question for different day.
Some girls your age are already biologically "un-virginized" because it is common for the hymen (a thin membrane that covers the opening to the vagina) to rupture by itself, that is without pentration, by the time they reach late adolescence.
But, there is nothing wrong with you and you shouldn't feel like you have to "get it over with" by any means. I highly doubt you have anny anatomical problem with your vulva or vagina, .The first time is different for everyone; some say it hurts and some don't feel a thing... except maybe a penis in their vagina. Your's may be a little unpleasant but that is all the more reason to wait until it is with some one you really love and plan to spend a great deal of your life with.
Best of luck to you.
Well hello there. I think this is great! (that u have not like had sex). Even though by now you may not technically be a virgin. But besides that, I believe that you should not have sex until after your married. You shouldn't feel bad because you couldn't have sex I think its good. When the time comes (i.e. you get married) then that's when you should go for it. As for the problem, it could be that even though you were at "ease" since it was your first time and maybe felt nervous, you were really tense and that didn't let you go through with it. But I really do hope that you keep on waiting, those morals you were raised w/are a blessing. Please save yourself to the one man that you will love and love you back. It would make him feel good and special that you waited all your life just for him t show up. I know it would mean a whole lot more for me if my girl waited for me. That is if you're going to car for your future husband.
With a name like 'booty call' its hard to take this post seriously..
Hey. I firstly wanna say..i respect you.
3 weeks in to me and my ex's relationship. I was kinda forced in to it. I was 16 and it was my first sexual relationship. When he suggested having sex i kinda went cold and shakey. I was really scared it would hurt. I was scared of everything about it. i was self consious about my body.
He seemed all nice and caring and everything ...pushy though. He kept asking and stuff. so i thaught i may as well get it out the way and stuff. The first time he barely went in, it hurt. it hurt alot n i cried because i felt like a freak n embarrased. the next day he got extra lubricated comdoms. when he came over with them i wanted to puch him because he hurt me n still only had that on his mind. but anyway we tried again, it hurt going in but after the first moment or so when he was moving it stopped hurting and felt good.Even after a few months of that it kinda hurt for few seconds going in. But its okay. Its not That bad after he goes in fully n starts to move n stuff. i didnt bleed the first time but with the second guy i had sex with (a guy im still with n waited for me) i bled a bit.
Its okay to feel like your feeling and terrified. THere isnt anything wrong with you at all. Take it slow. If he is the right guy to loose it to he will understand and wait for you. When you ARE finally ready i suggest either more foreplay first or lubrication. Lube would help alot. but only have sex when you are 100% ready.
I REALLY do respect you.