My sex drive has gone since having my son?!
Question: My sex drive has gone since having my son!?
i love my hubby!. i really do and i still find him sexy, but when i had my son who is now 4 months old, the labour was awful and i still haven't put it behind me!. i lost a lot of blood and had to have my uterus massaged after pushing out a ten pound baby!! it was the worst pain i have EVER felt and it was worse than the birth itself!. the doctors had to do this for roughly 45 mins and i honestly thought i was a goner!. while this was happening i was aware my son was being resucitated and we thought we had lost him aswell (he opened his bowels while still in the womb and filled his lungs with it)!. i still have not got over this and i find it hard to let my hubby touch me!. i use very reliable contraception so i am not worried about getting pregnant!. i just freeze when he touches me in bed, i can't even do cuddles anymore and i am scared he will leave me or play away!. what do i do!? it's like i have lost all kind of affection!. and i feel like i can't let my son out of my sight either!. help!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
You really need to confide in your husband, and ask his support!. You need to work together, very slowly on this!. Start by just holding hands and kissing until you are happy!. Then move on to cuddling!. It needs your husband to be very controlled! Gradually you should be able to move on to body massage, laying next to each other naked etc, until you get to the stage where you feel ready for sex!. Maybe the first time you try that you won't be able to go through with it, but a little perseverance and a lot of understanding from your husband and you should be able to work through this!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It is like you have been in a war, or a terrible accident!. Like you have "post traumatic syndrome!." Be completely open with your husband and tell him exactly how you feel!. If you are still afraid after a few months, seek counseling to help you get in touch with your feelings and inner strength!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
its normal, it happened to me as well!. give some time about 3 monts, it will come back!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It will pass,but only when you are willing to let go!. What are you afraid of!? Is what you should be asking yourself!. Subcontiously,are you worried if you have sex again you may get pregnant again and go through the pain again!? Only you can answer it!. But a tip to get back in the mood,buy a toy,and just play around when you are alone!.!.getting use to the feelings again!. And when you are ready,start at your own pace,cuddling!.!.!.then kissing!.!.etc!. And another tip,try thinking of the most incredible orgasm you've ever had!.!.!.now don't you want another one,,or many many more of those!? ;) good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm sorry to hear about your terrible birth experience!. I had a horrific birth as well!. Very similar to yours in many ways!. I had several stitches due to severe tearing, then the doctors only realised that part of my placenta had stayed behind so I was continuously bleeding!. Whilst that was going on, my daughter also wasn't breathing and she had to be resucitated as well!. Just like you, I thought I had lost my baby!.
Even when it all turns out ok in the end, it's a huge trauma to overcome and I have only recently been able to talk about it and start the healing process!. Your little one is only 4 months old so it's deffinately normal that you don't feel like having sex!. babies are such hard work as it is, so you don't exactly feel like having sex after a day of being thrown up on, or constantly changing smelly nappies!. Plus the lack of sleep don't help either!.
My daughter is now 21 months and I have only recently regained my sex drive so we have a somewhat normal sex life again!.
Trust me, your sex drive will return but it might take a while!. don't worry too much about it!. just explain it to your husband and he will understand!. after all he knows how much you went through with the birth :)
if you really are worried, go see your doctor!. he might be able to refer you to a counsellor to help you get over any birth traumas :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
Even when it all turns out ok in the end, it's a huge trauma to overcome and I have only recently been able to talk about it and start the healing process!. Your little one is only 4 months old so it's deffinately normal that you don't feel like having sex!. babies are such hard work as it is, so you don't exactly feel like having sex after a day of being thrown up on, or constantly changing smelly nappies!. Plus the lack of sleep don't help either!.
My daughter is now 21 months and I have only recently regained my sex drive so we have a somewhat normal sex life again!.
Trust me, your sex drive will return but it might take a while!. don't worry too much about it!. just explain it to your husband and he will understand!. after all he knows how much you went through with the birth :)
if you really are worried, go see your doctor!. he might be able to refer you to a counsellor to help you get over any birth traumas :)Www@Answer-Health@Com