Why can't I have sex?!
Question: Why can't I have sex!?
I'm 20 and I've been with the same person for the past 4 years!. We haven't had sex yet, not because I don't want to, but because everytime we've tried it is EXTREMELY painful to me!. I mean, I don't masturbate or wear tampons which could have something to do with it!.
But still, all my friends have had sex!. Even young teens are having sex! Not that I condone 13,14,15 year olds having sex, but why does it seem they can have sex with no problem when my vagina is barely loose enough for a finger!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
But still, all my friends have had sex!. Even young teens are having sex! Not that I condone 13,14,15 year olds having sex, but why does it seem they can have sex with no problem when my vagina is barely loose enough for a finger!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
You have one of two problems!. Either you have a health issue like yeast infection that is causing irritation to your vagina, or you (subconsciously) are so stressed or worried that your muscles are tightening up whenever you try to have sex!.
The first thing to do is get a check up and make sure you're healthy!. Explain this problem to your gynecologist!. He or she should be able to give you some good advice because whatever your issue is, this is not that unusual of a problem!.
If it is a stress issue, your doctor will probably recommend that you try getting used to the feeling of vaginal penetration on your own!. It's important to remove the pressure of trying to "perform" for your boyfriend and reassure yourself that this is something you can physically do!. You can try inserting one of your own fingers into your vagina, or you may want to buy a slim vibrator and practice with that!. The idea is to get used to the feeling so you don't go into panic mode when it happens!. Using some lube will also help reduce discomfort!.
EDIT: Let me emphasize again that if this is a stress issue, you have to work on getting over it in a NON sexual setting!. If you practice by yourself you won't have to worry about disappointing your boyfriend, and since you're in charge then you can stop if it hurts!. Once you become used to the feeling of something inside your vagina you'll have an easier time!.
I do strongly recommend discussing this issue with your gyno, though!. There are a number of health problems that can make sex painful, and you'd want to get anything like that treated!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The first thing to do is get a check up and make sure you're healthy!. Explain this problem to your gynecologist!. He or she should be able to give you some good advice because whatever your issue is, this is not that unusual of a problem!.
If it is a stress issue, your doctor will probably recommend that you try getting used to the feeling of vaginal penetration on your own!. It's important to remove the pressure of trying to "perform" for your boyfriend and reassure yourself that this is something you can physically do!. You can try inserting one of your own fingers into your vagina, or you may want to buy a slim vibrator and practice with that!. The idea is to get used to the feeling so you don't go into panic mode when it happens!. Using some lube will also help reduce discomfort!.
EDIT: Let me emphasize again that if this is a stress issue, you have to work on getting over it in a NON sexual setting!. If you practice by yourself you won't have to worry about disappointing your boyfriend, and since you're in charge then you can stop if it hurts!. Once you become used to the feeling of something inside your vagina you'll have an easier time!.
I do strongly recommend discussing this issue with your gyno, though!. There are a number of health problems that can make sex painful, and you'd want to get anything like that treated!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
you are probably tense, and tension will make it alot more painful, especially if he larger than average, and does not give you any foreplay, it takes the average woman alot longer to get ready, whereas, most men are already done!. try talking to your partner, and tell him that maybe a little loving before the sex would help, you would be surprised how many men don't take into consideration, how painfull it is, because they're to busy wanting their own 10 second quickie!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
the first time or even the first several times having sex it will be painful, you might bleed a little and discomfort will be experienced, dont hold your expectations too high the first time/s you have sex and dont expect to have a mind blowing orgasm!. try to relax and just allow nature to take its course and dont be afraid to guide your partner, use lots of lubricant and no that this pain wont last forever!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
look, your 20, i'm 12!. but i know what you're talking about!. go see your doctor, he or she will listen to the problem, and ask them to observe the problem, and if nothing is wrong, it's probably because of your period, by that i mean that you need to wear tampons, pads, or maybe toilet paper folded up in your underwear!. try these tips!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well maybe try with baby steps!.
Try your own finger a few times!.
And maybe like everyday until you become a little looser!.
Try masturbating and try tampons!.
That stuff is going to hurt the first few times too but you wont have to worry about anyone else while doing those!.
But for now just perform oral on each other i guess if you want some action!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Try your own finger a few times!.
And maybe like everyday until you become a little looser!.
Try masturbating and try tampons!.
That stuff is going to hurt the first few times too but you wont have to worry about anyone else while doing those!.
But for now just perform oral on each other i guess if you want some action!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
yes same thing with me even a finger hurt!.!.!. but i think it has to be at just the right angle or something for it to be bearable (i did a lot of experimenting) !.!.!.
it might be because you are clamping up your muscles down there!.!. relax and let it happen
but don't think that it is impossible !.!.!.!. believe me it can be done!.!.
it might not be easy but keep trying different positions, use protection, a good slippery lube, foreplay
maybe take a few shots to help!.!.!. i did
:)Www@Answer-Health@Com
it might be because you are clamping up your muscles down there!.!. relax and let it happen
but don't think that it is impossible !.!.!.!. believe me it can be done!.!.
it might not be easy but keep trying different positions, use protection, a good slippery lube, foreplay
maybe take a few shots to help!.!.!. i did
:)Www@Answer-Health@Com
I wouldn't worry too much about the fact that all your friends have had sex!.
You haven't had it yet and that's all that counts!.
I wouldn't be in a rush if I was you!. You're still young right now and there's plenty of time left to have it after you have gotten married!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You haven't had it yet and that's all that counts!.
I wouldn't be in a rush if I was you!. You're still young right now and there's plenty of time left to have it after you have gotten married!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You might need lubrication, or there is the other fact that your hymen is too small!. You could have surgery to make it normal size!. If your hymen is too small, it makes losing your virginity much more painful, and could create menstrual problems in the future!. Go to a gynecologist and check it out!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It could be a condition (nothing to worry about) that is either preventing you from getting turned on & allowing for natural lubrication or your body is simply telling you, even at age 20, that you're not emotionally or physically ready for sex!. I advise you to GET CHECKED OUT down there & then & only then you will find out what's really going on!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Someday this will be a blessing!. Sometimes for the first time you just have to break it in!. Ive heard about it being painful, but maybe you should ask a doc!. Were you very active as a youngster!? I knew a lady who couldnt deliver her baby cause she had scarring and it wouldnt stretch!. It would have to be pretty extreme in your case, but you never know!. Did you play alot of sports!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Have you ever tried lubrication!?
I've also heard that sometimes your hymen or maidenhead may not be able to break and you need to have surgery to get it broken!. Because that is the part that is suppose to hurt the most!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I've also heard that sometimes your hymen or maidenhead may not be able to break and you need to have surgery to get it broken!. Because that is the part that is suppose to hurt the most!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
well sorry to say this but this question had me litterly "lol-ing" i think this question is better left to be answered by a docter rather then you leaving it on the Internet for any moron to answer you something totally in-appropriate!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
there is really nothing you can do for the pain!. as you do it more and more it will stat to feel better and better!. good luck:)Www@Answer-Health@Com
u need to masterbate everyday for a few months until u can fit a banana up there it may sounf perverted but this will loosin u upWww@Answer-Health@Com
You may have a condition called vaginismus!. The muscles tense up and it makes it too painful for sex!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Maybe should HAVE sex for the first time and then keep at it!. Your vagina will be better conditioned to handle more and more sex as you increase the frequency!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Tought one!. Try buying cream's that are made to losen it up!. Lots of lube will help!. Most of all foreplay will help get you relaxed and ready!. Have hin try mastubating you before!. Good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
you need to masturbate more and use sex toys and lots of lubeWww@Answer-Health@Com
you might want to try some ky jelly then have a lot of sex!.!.good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
you should really see a dr!. it could be a lot of problems, including him being too big!.goodluck!.hope i helpedWww@Answer-Health@Com
lubrication!Www@Answer-Health@Com
simple!. hes too big and your to small!.
stretch it out hunnay!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
stretch it out hunnay!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Oh, this is a good question, I have sex with the man I am with, rarely but I do!. I personally though am very tight, it takes a bit for the person to get in, so this might be your problem!. Physically you might be too small for him!. You may also be a dryer female than some!. Some women do not lubricate enough, due to mental blockage or just physical chemistry!.!.!.I had always been that way, until I met one person I felt completely different for!. Sexual history, I am not asking for an answer, but sexual abuse, or sexual regrets (and I don't mean the oops, what have I dones' but the I didn't really want to do that he pressured me ones) can turn a mental blockage on, decreasing sexual stimulus!. I had to learn all about it!. If you haven't tried them, and aren't allergic to them perhaps for a while you should try a lubricant, and try lubricated finger or fingers (depending of course on what you can handle) and see how that goes!. Other than that I am unsure what could be the problem!. If you are very petite and not sexually active and he is a bigger guy, this may also be a problem, although I truly doubt the problem would be this significant!. Good luck HonWww@Answer-Health@Com
Well if you are 20, I assume you have had a vaginal exam and Dr would have noticed anything out of ordinary!. If so,!. !. !. I would say the problem is probably nerves honey!. It's very difficult to relax when you know sex is going to hurt and it is going to hurt if you don't relax!. You need what men call the "FORE" letter word!. Fore-play!. Tell BF that tonight we are only doing this!. It will relax you and help you to enjoy the experience like you are supposed to instead of tensing up waiting for the painful part!. If he really loves you he will understand and want you to enjoy it too!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Go see a gynocologist! This is from Dr!. Hilda Hutcherson's book What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex, page 343:
"Some women have tight stiff hymens that do not stretch and make any attempt to penetrate the vagina difficult and painful!. You can sometimes soften the hymen by massaging daily with vitamin E oil!. Occasionally, surgery may be needed to make penetration possible!."
Another possibility is vaginismus (yes that's really a word), which is when you unconsciously tighten your vaginal muscles, making penetration impossible!. This may be a response to previous painful experiences!.
Still another possibility is vulvar vestibulitis, which is a condition where your nerves send out pain signals for no reason, also making penetration impossible, but this usually causes pain all the time, not just when attempting intercourse!.
Your doc can help figure out what's going on, but know you're not the only one!
Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
"Some women have tight stiff hymens that do not stretch and make any attempt to penetrate the vagina difficult and painful!. You can sometimes soften the hymen by massaging daily with vitamin E oil!. Occasionally, surgery may be needed to make penetration possible!."
Another possibility is vaginismus (yes that's really a word), which is when you unconsciously tighten your vaginal muscles, making penetration impossible!. This may be a response to previous painful experiences!.
Still another possibility is vulvar vestibulitis, which is a condition where your nerves send out pain signals for no reason, also making penetration impossible, but this usually causes pain all the time, not just when attempting intercourse!.
Your doc can help figure out what's going on, but know you're not the only one!
Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well once you do have sex, it won't be so hard to have sex again!. Buy some KY, the his and hers combo is good!. Do a lot of foreplay!. Have him use lube and finger you!. Try to relax!. When your nervous, you're muscles tense!. Just go slow!. It will probably hurt a little and be kind of uncomfortable but with it being your first time you kind of have to expect that!. Take some Ibuprofen for the pain and possible swelling!. I would take some about an hour before you decide to have sex so it will minimize any swelling that might incur!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
i would just try using lots of lube and relaxing because sex is a very, very mental and emotional experience!.
also, when i first lost my virginity, i could never be on top because it hurt so bad!.
start off in positions that won't constrict your uterus!. lie flat on your back and have the guy on top!.
start off slowly, relax and try not to focus on getting it "in!."
on the other hand, i might consider seeing a gyno or even going to a health department!. i don't want to scare you, but it could be an ovarian cyst or something!.
losing your virginity hurts, is your guy above average!? most guys aren't and the average size is 5!.9 inches, that could be why so many people are able to have painless sex!.
i wish you luck!.
sounds like you all are in a good relationship, any guy that respects the fact that you aren't able to have sex and sticks with you is impressive in this day and age!.
good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
also, when i first lost my virginity, i could never be on top because it hurt so bad!.
start off in positions that won't constrict your uterus!. lie flat on your back and have the guy on top!.
start off slowly, relax and try not to focus on getting it "in!."
on the other hand, i might consider seeing a gyno or even going to a health department!. i don't want to scare you, but it could be an ovarian cyst or something!.
losing your virginity hurts, is your guy above average!? most guys aren't and the average size is 5!.9 inches, that could be why so many people are able to have painless sex!.
i wish you luck!.
sounds like you all are in a good relationship, any guy that respects the fact that you aren't able to have sex and sticks with you is impressive in this day and age!.
good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
hey I am a man and I can help you loosen it up just
let me know or come to me and believe me you
will have the best sex ever let me know what is your callWww@Answer-Health@Com
let me know or come to me and believe me you
will have the best sex ever let me know what is your callWww@Answer-Health@Com
you just got to suck it up and let him stetch it out until it doesn't hurt anymore or someting is wrong with ur gear and you should see a doctorWww@Answer-Health@Com
OMG lmfao rotfl ur funny girl!.
Ok my laughs aside, you need to get some lube (KY or similar) and get to it!.
No pain no gain!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Ok my laughs aside, you need to get some lube (KY or similar) and get to it!.
No pain no gain!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com