How do I get out of an abusive relationship?!
Question: How do I get out of an abusive relationship!?
my husband has been abusive ever since our first child was born !.!.!.things use to be perfect but then he changed!.!.!.he always calls me terrible names and he beats me almost everyday and forces me to have sex with him !.!.!.!.I was pregnant with our second child but I had a miscarriage because of him!.!.!.!.!.I do have many family members I could talk to that would help me but he'd probably kill me if I tell someone or try to leave!.!.!.!.!.he always threatens to kill me !.!.!.!.!.I know if I don't leave one of us will end up dead eventually what should I do!.!.!.!.!.
I can't let my daughter see me hurt all the timeWww@Answer-Health@Com
I can't let my daughter see me hurt all the timeWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Take your daughter to a nearby friend, and go to the police!. If you say he beats you, show them the bruses, and the police will show up and take him in!. My father is a police seargant, and this happeses a few times in Phoenix!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Leave him, there are shelters that will help you and keep you hidden!. This is good, in case he really is crazy and will try to hurt you or the the child!. You will also have a chance to discover that he was just blowing smoke, if so you can carry on with your normal life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would wait till he is at work and take your daughter and flee to a friend or familys house and call the police and also get a protection order so he cant take your daughter!.!. also make sure he doesnt know where you are!.!. If you dont get out, it wont cure itself!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I dont really know what to say, but maybe when you have some free time tell your husband that you are going shopping with you baby and then go to the cops!.
or your parents so they can tell the cops before he knows you are there!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
or your parents so they can tell the cops before he knows you are there!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
call the cops and get outWww@Answer-Health@Com
Cops!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
get the hella outta there!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
you need help!
do a google search with women shelter, and your city!. read below before you do your search!!
below is an example of a result of woman shelter, pittsburg
http://www!.wcspittsburgh!.org/19!.php
you and your daughter safety is the priority!!
Make a Safety Plan
Here are some ideas you can keep in mind when making your Safety Plan:
Prepare an emergency kit!. It should include items that won't be missed but that could help you if you decide to leave and stay in a safe place: spare clothing and comfort items for you and your children, a spare set of car keys, some money, any restraining orders or protection orders that you already have against your partner, prescriptions and/or medicines for you and your children, your credit cards, your checkbook, your drivers license, your social security card and other identification!. You could also include any special photos that are important to you, along with your address book, current unpaid bills, insurance papers, your marriage license, your divorce papers, car title, mortgage papers, and house deed!. Place the kit somewhere where you can get to it quickly, but yet it won't be easily found by your partner!.
Make an extra set of keys to the car and house and keep them hidden!.
Tell someone you trust about the abuse!. People who care about you might have useful advice or be able to offer help!.
Identify several people you could call in an emergency or crisis!. Keep their names and phone numbers handy!.
Don't get trapped!. Plan the safest way to get out!. Identify dangerous locations in the house and plan for a quick exit so that you do not get trapped in those locations where you have no way out to safety!.
Plan with your children!. Identify a safe place to them (room with a lock, a neighbor's house) or the safest, quickest way to get out of the house and out of harm's way!. Let them know that their job is to stay safe, not to protect you!. Practice with your children for an emergency!.
If you feel comfortable calling the police if the violence starts again!.!.!.be sure to plan how you can easily and safely get to the phone to call for help!. Is there a phone in a room with a door that locks, so you can stay away from your partner while you call for help!? If not, consider making up a code word or signal that you can share with your children or your neighbors, so that they know when they should call the police or get help for you!.
Be careful with alcohol and drugs!. Sometimes people who are being abused use alcohol or drugs to deal with the violence and the pain!. Unfortunately, alcohol and drugs will only drain your energy, keep you helpless and affect your ability to think clearly and make a good safety plan for you and your children!.
Try to eat well!. Your physical health affects the way you feel about yourself, as well as your ability to cope with stress and to think clearly!. If you can cope better and think more clearly, you will have more confidence to take steps to make a safety plan for yourself and others!.
You don't have to make your Safety Plan alone!. WC&S Advocates on our free and confidential Hotline can help you to make a Safety Plan!.
Call 24-hours a day, seven day a week to 412-687-8005 or toll free, 877-338-TALK (8255)!.
Cover Your Tracks
WARNING:
An abuser may try to track your Internet activities!
Special attention needs to be taken when visiting web sites on the internet!. Information you have brought up on the internet (including our web page) may be viewed by anyone who knows how to access your computer's history or cache file!.
In order to prevent this from happening, you should clear your computer's history and cache file!. This can be done by accessing your internet browser settings!.
Here is what to do:
Internet Explorer
Pull down View menu, select Internet Options!.
On General page, under Temporary Internet Files, click on "Delete Files"!.
Under History click on "Clear History!."
AOL
Pull down Members menu, select Preferences!.
Click on WWW icon!.
Select Advanced!.
Click "Purge Cache"!.
Netscape
Pull down Edit menu!.
In the menu that drops down, click on "Preferences"!.
Click on Navigator and choose "Clear History"!.
Click on Advanced then select Cache!.
Click on "Clear Disk Cache"!.
Please Note:
Clearing web browser histories in this way will delete ALL histories of visited websites!. If you are concerned that someone may be checking up on your Internet usage, the absence of all files and history may appear suspicious!.
Additionally, there are other software programs available that can track website visits!.
If you believe that someone may be monitoring your Internet activity, try using a friend's computer, or one at the public library -- or call our 24 Hour Hotline at 412-687-8005 or 877-338-8255 to avoid leaving a trail of visited Internet websites!.
Tell Someone
Sharing with someone that you are being abused may be the hardest thing you've ever done, but keep in mind that is a huge first step in breaking the cycle of violence in your life!.
Don't keep abuse a secret!. Confide in family members or friends whom you trust!. Don't be afraid to ask them for help!.
There is help!. There is hope!.
If you'd like to tell someone at Women's Center & Shelter about what is happening to you, our Hotline Advocates are standing by, 24-hours a day, seven days a week!.
It's free and confidential to talk to an Advocate about how your partner is treating you!.
you are looking for help on YAhoo Answer!. this is not the best place to seek for help!. look for your local shelter!. the idea of moving out might be crazy!. but this is the only way to end an abusive relationship!. you have to protect yourself and your precious daughter!. eend this relationship for good!. there is hope and there is help
Www@Answer-Health@Com
do a google search with women shelter, and your city!. read below before you do your search!!
below is an example of a result of woman shelter, pittsburg
http://www!.wcspittsburgh!.org/19!.php
you and your daughter safety is the priority!!
Make a Safety Plan
Here are some ideas you can keep in mind when making your Safety Plan:
Prepare an emergency kit!. It should include items that won't be missed but that could help you if you decide to leave and stay in a safe place: spare clothing and comfort items for you and your children, a spare set of car keys, some money, any restraining orders or protection orders that you already have against your partner, prescriptions and/or medicines for you and your children, your credit cards, your checkbook, your drivers license, your social security card and other identification!. You could also include any special photos that are important to you, along with your address book, current unpaid bills, insurance papers, your marriage license, your divorce papers, car title, mortgage papers, and house deed!. Place the kit somewhere where you can get to it quickly, but yet it won't be easily found by your partner!.
Make an extra set of keys to the car and house and keep them hidden!.
Tell someone you trust about the abuse!. People who care about you might have useful advice or be able to offer help!.
Identify several people you could call in an emergency or crisis!. Keep their names and phone numbers handy!.
Don't get trapped!. Plan the safest way to get out!. Identify dangerous locations in the house and plan for a quick exit so that you do not get trapped in those locations where you have no way out to safety!.
Plan with your children!. Identify a safe place to them (room with a lock, a neighbor's house) or the safest, quickest way to get out of the house and out of harm's way!. Let them know that their job is to stay safe, not to protect you!. Practice with your children for an emergency!.
If you feel comfortable calling the police if the violence starts again!.!.!.be sure to plan how you can easily and safely get to the phone to call for help!. Is there a phone in a room with a door that locks, so you can stay away from your partner while you call for help!? If not, consider making up a code word or signal that you can share with your children or your neighbors, so that they know when they should call the police or get help for you!.
Be careful with alcohol and drugs!. Sometimes people who are being abused use alcohol or drugs to deal with the violence and the pain!. Unfortunately, alcohol and drugs will only drain your energy, keep you helpless and affect your ability to think clearly and make a good safety plan for you and your children!.
Try to eat well!. Your physical health affects the way you feel about yourself, as well as your ability to cope with stress and to think clearly!. If you can cope better and think more clearly, you will have more confidence to take steps to make a safety plan for yourself and others!.
You don't have to make your Safety Plan alone!. WC&S Advocates on our free and confidential Hotline can help you to make a Safety Plan!.
Call 24-hours a day, seven day a week to 412-687-8005 or toll free, 877-338-TALK (8255)!.
Cover Your Tracks
WARNING:
An abuser may try to track your Internet activities!
Special attention needs to be taken when visiting web sites on the internet!. Information you have brought up on the internet (including our web page) may be viewed by anyone who knows how to access your computer's history or cache file!.
In order to prevent this from happening, you should clear your computer's history and cache file!. This can be done by accessing your internet browser settings!.
Here is what to do:
Internet Explorer
Pull down View menu, select Internet Options!.
On General page, under Temporary Internet Files, click on "Delete Files"!.
Under History click on "Clear History!."
AOL
Pull down Members menu, select Preferences!.
Click on WWW icon!.
Select Advanced!.
Click "Purge Cache"!.
Netscape
Pull down Edit menu!.
In the menu that drops down, click on "Preferences"!.
Click on Navigator and choose "Clear History"!.
Click on Advanced then select Cache!.
Click on "Clear Disk Cache"!.
Please Note:
Clearing web browser histories in this way will delete ALL histories of visited websites!. If you are concerned that someone may be checking up on your Internet usage, the absence of all files and history may appear suspicious!.
Additionally, there are other software programs available that can track website visits!.
If you believe that someone may be monitoring your Internet activity, try using a friend's computer, or one at the public library -- or call our 24 Hour Hotline at 412-687-8005 or 877-338-8255 to avoid leaving a trail of visited Internet websites!.
Tell Someone
Sharing with someone that you are being abused may be the hardest thing you've ever done, but keep in mind that is a huge first step in breaking the cycle of violence in your life!.
Don't keep abuse a secret!. Confide in family members or friends whom you trust!. Don't be afraid to ask them for help!.
There is help!. There is hope!.
If you'd like to tell someone at Women's Center & Shelter about what is happening to you, our Hotline Advocates are standing by, 24-hours a day, seven days a week!.
It's free and confidential to talk to an Advocate about how your partner is treating you!.
you are looking for help on YAhoo Answer!. this is not the best place to seek for help!. look for your local shelter!. the idea of moving out might be crazy!. but this is the only way to end an abusive relationship!. you have to protect yourself and your precious daughter!. eend this relationship for good!. there is hope and there is help
Www@Answer-Health@Com
I am so sorry this is happening to you!. Is there any way you could secretly call the police so he wouldn't know about it!?
Get out as soon as you can (with the police's assistance)!. Do it either when he's at work, not home, whenever - just make sure you and you daughter will be safe!.
I'm not quite sure where you would live - maybe a hotel!? Can you register under a different name!? Maybe the police can have him arrested before then!.
This is an unfortunate situation for you to be in!. My aunt was in an abusive relationship too!. But the guy just let her leave!.
I hope this helps :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
Get out as soon as you can (with the police's assistance)!. Do it either when he's at work, not home, whenever - just make sure you and you daughter will be safe!.
I'm not quite sure where you would live - maybe a hotel!? Can you register under a different name!? Maybe the police can have him arrested before then!.
This is an unfortunate situation for you to be in!. My aunt was in an abusive relationship too!. But the guy just let her leave!.
I hope this helps :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
If you have bruises take pictures just as evidence!. Then one day when he's not there take whatever you need and leave with your daughter!. Make sure you leave soon!. Go anywhere that you know you will be safe and that you have friends or family around and close by!. You're going to need to report him to the police as soon as possible and have him arrested and get a restraining order against him!. Then you're going to need to file for divorce!. Hopefully you can take him to court and he'll end up in jail for a long long time!. Trust me you need to get out of this as soon as possible for you and your daughter!. My father was the same way and I still remember watching him beat my mother and seeing my mother bruised up!. Please just leave!. No matter how much he apologizes and says he'll never do it again he will!. He's never going to stop and pretty soon he might start abusing your daughter!. That's the last thing you want!.
EDIT: If he forces you to have sex that's considered rape even though you're married!. You need to tell the police that also!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
EDIT: If he forces you to have sex that's considered rape even though you're married!. You need to tell the police that also!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This isnt love!. Love doesnt abuse!.
You need to leave him!. You already said you don't want your daughter growing up seeing this happening!.
Abusers are bullies, control freaks and more often than not, they are cowards!. They threaten to kill you if you leave or tell someone because they know it will scare you into staying so they can continue to abuse and control!. Most of the time, they have no intention of killing anyone!.
I was in an abusive relationship when I was young and I got out after a year and a half!. I had to decide if I was prepared to live like that for the rest of my life!.!.!.!.and I decided no way!. This was not how I wanted to be!. He did nothing except give me verbal abuse and try to frighten me when he saw me!.
Do you want to live like that forever!? Or even for another 5 years!? 5 months, 5 days!? How long will you be his victim, his punch bag, his abusee!? How long until he loses his temper and belts your daughter!? Will your daughter grow up learning that women are here as punchbags for men t odo as they please with and end up in that kind of relationship herself!.!.!.to go on and repeat the cycle!? Can you trust that he won't lose his temper so much that he'll kill you anyway!?
If the risk is that either way you might be killed, then what have you got to lose by leaving!? Nothing!. But you may have everything to gain!.!.!.!.your life back in your control!.!.!.!.a better upbringing for your little girl!.
They always apologise, they always beg for forgiveness, they always promise to never do it again!.!.!.!.they ALWAYS break those promises!. They even get on their knees and plead and beg and sometimes cry but if it's you on your knees begging and crying as they beat you, do they care!? Do they stop!? Nope!. They laugh and belittle and insult and degrade!.
If you really believe he will hunt you down and make an attempt on your life, then involve the police!. Don't let him scare you or control you any longer!.
Are you a victim or a survivor!? Www@Answer-Health@Com
You need to leave him!. You already said you don't want your daughter growing up seeing this happening!.
Abusers are bullies, control freaks and more often than not, they are cowards!. They threaten to kill you if you leave or tell someone because they know it will scare you into staying so they can continue to abuse and control!. Most of the time, they have no intention of killing anyone!.
I was in an abusive relationship when I was young and I got out after a year and a half!. I had to decide if I was prepared to live like that for the rest of my life!.!.!.!.and I decided no way!. This was not how I wanted to be!. He did nothing except give me verbal abuse and try to frighten me when he saw me!.
Do you want to live like that forever!? Or even for another 5 years!? 5 months, 5 days!? How long will you be his victim, his punch bag, his abusee!? How long until he loses his temper and belts your daughter!? Will your daughter grow up learning that women are here as punchbags for men t odo as they please with and end up in that kind of relationship herself!.!.!.to go on and repeat the cycle!? Can you trust that he won't lose his temper so much that he'll kill you anyway!?
If the risk is that either way you might be killed, then what have you got to lose by leaving!? Nothing!. But you may have everything to gain!.!.!.!.your life back in your control!.!.!.!.a better upbringing for your little girl!.
They always apologise, they always beg for forgiveness, they always promise to never do it again!.!.!.!.they ALWAYS break those promises!. They even get on their knees and plead and beg and sometimes cry but if it's you on your knees begging and crying as they beat you, do they care!? Do they stop!? Nope!. They laugh and belittle and insult and degrade!.
If you really believe he will hunt you down and make an attempt on your life, then involve the police!. Don't let him scare you or control you any longer!.
Are you a victim or a survivor!? Www@Answer-Health@Com
You never hurt the one you love!. How old is your daughter!? Do you know the effect this will have on her when she gets older!. If you don't hurry and do something about it, you will have to live with this nightmare for the rest of your life and hers!. You were not put on this earth to be some a**holes punching bag!. Tell him to go beat a man if he is that upset (and no doubt for no reason), and see what he gets!. In the meantime, do what the other writers suggest!. LEAVE HIM!!! There are quite a few programs out there to assist you with this problem!. Do it asap, because it will start affecting you both emotionally and mentally, then you will start taking it out on an innocent child!. Please don't let that happen!. She is your first priority!. GET HELP IMMEDIATELY!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
You need to look in the yellow pages for a battered women's shelter!. Contact them ASAP! They will then be able to help you utilized the various resources available!. They should be able to help you get a restraining order!. (Please get one!)
Do not fall for the apology song and dance!. It is a tactic used by habitual abusers!. Be strong and love yourself!. You and your child DESERVE to live a fear free and happy life!.
Do not allow the man to set an example of normal behavior for you child!. Please get away from him!.
I got out of a verbally abusive 13 year marriage!. It was scary as heck at first, but then I got strong and will never ever allow that to happen again!.
Boys are not worth crying over, and the one that is, won't make you cry!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Do not fall for the apology song and dance!. It is a tactic used by habitual abusers!. Be strong and love yourself!. You and your child DESERVE to live a fear free and happy life!.
Do not allow the man to set an example of normal behavior for you child!. Please get away from him!.
I got out of a verbally abusive 13 year marriage!. It was scary as heck at first, but then I got strong and will never ever allow that to happen again!.
Boys are not worth crying over, and the one that is, won't make you cry!.Www@Answer-Health@Com