What's wrong with me? I don't want sex...ever?!
Question: What's wrong with me!? I don't want sex!.!.!.ever!?
Is this a really bad thing that I don't want sex from my mates!.!. ever!? I'm not interested in it and when it does come up I get really fearful and I start to turn inward!. It's automatic! Some days I really feel guilty about not wanting to give them my body for there sexual use, or to take up my part in the other side of it and have some joy in it!. But I just don't want to, I used to but not anymore!. I have been living with severe chronic depression and post traumatic stress for years!. Could this be causing my not wanting to give or have sex!? Is this something that I should even feel guilty about!? Should I get some kind of counseling for this so that my life will seem happier because I have sex in it!? Does having sex make life happier!? I need some advice!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Hi Lady,
Never feel bad or guilty for not having sex!. Sex should only be if you want too!. I understand your feelings of guilt for your partner, but girl you have alot on your plate dealing with stress & depression can really impact your inner self!.!.!.!.and that includes your feelings, it can definetley be the #1 factor for you not wanting sex, or wanting to even think about it!. Personally speaking!.!.!.!.!.!.I'm in the same boat, I'm on anxiety medication!.!.!.!.for my stress aswell!.!.!.!.!.and anti-depressants, if you are on medications, it can also be a huge factor in these sexual side effects!. I think a good thing would be to really concentrate on yourself!.!.!.!.!.and be easy on yourself, do not worry or stress on sex!.!.!.!.!.it will come back to you!. Counseling is always a good idea, but doctors may decide that the medication you are on (if you are on) should be adjusted as the side effects are high!. As for your husband, he is the one you married, he should be understanding and help you work through this situation!. Things will get better!.
Luv, LashWww@Answer-Health@Com
Never feel bad or guilty for not having sex!. Sex should only be if you want too!. I understand your feelings of guilt for your partner, but girl you have alot on your plate dealing with stress & depression can really impact your inner self!.!.!.!.and that includes your feelings, it can definetley be the #1 factor for you not wanting sex, or wanting to even think about it!. Personally speaking!.!.!.!.!.!.I'm in the same boat, I'm on anxiety medication!.!.!.!.for my stress aswell!.!.!.!.!.and anti-depressants, if you are on medications, it can also be a huge factor in these sexual side effects!. I think a good thing would be to really concentrate on yourself!.!.!.!.!.and be easy on yourself, do not worry or stress on sex!.!.!.!.!.it will come back to you!. Counseling is always a good idea, but doctors may decide that the medication you are on (if you are on) should be adjusted as the side effects are high!. As for your husband, he is the one you married, he should be understanding and help you work through this situation!. Things will get better!.
Luv, LashWww@Answer-Health@Com
you answered your own question, you are living with severe chronic depression and post traumatic stress!.
You need to get counseling for these conditions and the sex issue will be part of that program!.
Please, do not allow your depression to go untreated!. The longer you live in that state of mind, the more physical damage is being done to your brain and the more difficult it will be to treat!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
You need to get counseling for these conditions and the sex issue will be part of that program!.
Please, do not allow your depression to go untreated!. The longer you live in that state of mind, the more physical damage is being done to your brain and the more difficult it will be to treat!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
You should only have sex if you want to!. Never let anyone pressure you into it!.
Only have sex with a long term relationship partner, especially if you are depressed!.
Try to have long friendship's first and see where things turn out, tell them in the beginning you are only interested in a platonic (non sexual) relationship for a while but things may change in the future if you two like eachother!.
Sex is only if YOU want to!., nothin to feel bad aboutWww@Answer-Health@Com
Only have sex with a long term relationship partner, especially if you are depressed!.
Try to have long friendship's first and see where things turn out, tell them in the beginning you are only interested in a platonic (non sexual) relationship for a while but things may change in the future if you two like eachother!.
Sex is only if YOU want to!., nothin to feel bad aboutWww@Answer-Health@Com
There's nothing wrong with not wanting sex!. The important thing is to have a partner who feels the same way, so that there are no disagreements about having sex!.
Many of the circumstances you describe can diminish your interest in sex!. If you change these circumstances (relieve depression and stress, etc!.), you may develop an interest in sex again!. A lack of interest in sex itself is not a disease, but sometimes it is a symptom of something else!.
If you are nearing menopause, it may reduce your interest in sex!. About 1/3 of women lose most of their interest in sex after menopause!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Many of the circumstances you describe can diminish your interest in sex!. If you change these circumstances (relieve depression and stress, etc!.), you may develop an interest in sex again!. A lack of interest in sex itself is not a disease, but sometimes it is a symptom of something else!.
If you are nearing menopause, it may reduce your interest in sex!. About 1/3 of women lose most of their interest in sex after menopause!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
to Little info to say much sure you don't want to be public about some stuff!. depends on the post thematic stuff and in what aria it was in!.
for some reason you don't feel safe!.
doesn't your mate understand this !? its your bod and you cant give if you are >not safe<!. maybe the post thematic brought up memories of a past life were you died when you were being sexual!?
to little info im sure talking to a unbiased person would be good that you dont have a emotional attachment to , so you don't have to fear< loss of your relationship to them!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
for some reason you don't feel safe!.
doesn't your mate understand this !? its your bod and you cant give if you are >not safe<!. maybe the post thematic brought up memories of a past life were you died when you were being sexual!?
to little info im sure talking to a unbiased person would be good that you dont have a emotional attachment to , so you don't have to fear< loss of your relationship to them!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex!. I'm a virgin and I don't plan on having sex either or being in a relationship (never had a BF) it's just something that has never been of interest to me and turn me on!. I find it so boring especially when people start talking about it, I daze off into a wonderland and start thinking everything else more important that's not that!. I made a firm commitment to celibacy last year!. But since you are married you already expressed what may be hindering your sex drive which is your depression and you should seek some aid to find the underlying root of the problem!.
I wish you Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I wish you Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
It's very normal to have no libido when you're depressed!. It is one of the most common symptoms of depression!. I understand what you mean about feeling guilty!.!.!. I've struggled with those thoughts, too!. I worry that my hubby is not getting his needs met, because I just can't stomach having sex that often!.
Counselling might help, but changing your brain chemistry can help a lot, too!. I don't know about the post-traumatic stress!. Perhaps that's what happened to me, since my depression started after being assaulted!. I never really thought about it, because I never got diagnosed!
I've never taken drugs for my depression, because it runs in my family, and the drugs never seemed to work on my sister or my Dad, and they seemed to go through an endless cycle of drugs and drug withdrawals, without relief!. (It might work for you, though)!. What worked for me is:
(1) This diet: http://www!.fedupwithfoodadditives!.info (This really is the key for me!. Amines especially trigger depression in many people, me included!. For starters, avoid all citrus, tomatoes and meat or cheese that's not 100% fresh - eg!. salami, and processed meat = no, no; hard, yellow (aged) cheese is also bad)!. Chocolate & caffeine is also a never ending cycle of up and down, as it also contains amines that can cause neurochemical imbalance that leads to depression!. Basically, whatever you crave the most strongly, that is probably the thing you should avoid eating, because your body can't process it properly!. (Sounds crazy, but it's a tried and true principle in food intolerance circles)!.
(2) Crystal therapy (my husband is a talented crystal therapist)
(3) Homoeopathy (pulsatilla works wonders for me)
(4) Daily massage (from my hubby!.!.!. I think he usually likes giving the massages, because otherwise, when I'm having an episode, there is no other kind of touching going on)
(5) Journalling!. Writing down your thoughts, and trying out new ways of thinking!. For me, journalling is all about creating new beliefs and affirmations that can give me strength!.
(6) Spirituality also helps me a lot!. Prayer is a powerful tool, if you are a person of faith!.
I really feel you have no reason to feel guilty about not wanting to have sex!. We're only required, in this world, to give what we can, from the heart!. If your heart is not there, then your first responsibility is to yourself, to find healing for your heart!. I hope your hubby can understand and support you!. The more he does, the more likely you will begin to feel like your heart is full, and the more full your heart, the more able you will be to have sex, joyfully!. But it really is a neurochemical imbalance, also!. Depression is NOT "all in your head"!. It's not all about your thoughts, but it is also an actual physical illness, changing how you perceive things emotionally!.
My opinion is that having sex does not make life happier if you are depressed!. The solution is to heal your heart first, and then you can have sex if and when you feel that you want to!.
Something I have found about depression: The fundamental state of depression is a feeling of powerlessness!. To help yourself heal, you (and your hubby) need to find ways to help you feel empowered!. If you try and force yourself to do things that you don't emotionally WANT to do, you may be perpetuating your own cycle of disempowerment and depression!. Pay attention to your feelings and go with them, without guilt!. Your feelings are just as important as your husband's, and it seems like you are the one who is in more need of emotional support at present!. Give when you can, and understand that your best is ALWAYS good enough!.
Get out of the house, do a course, do something that you've always valued or thought was important, etc!. It really helps to contribute in a way that you find meaningful!. The feelings of being of worth expand slowly as you go along!. Be patient with yourself!. ? Blessings to you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Counselling might help, but changing your brain chemistry can help a lot, too!. I don't know about the post-traumatic stress!. Perhaps that's what happened to me, since my depression started after being assaulted!. I never really thought about it, because I never got diagnosed!
I've never taken drugs for my depression, because it runs in my family, and the drugs never seemed to work on my sister or my Dad, and they seemed to go through an endless cycle of drugs and drug withdrawals, without relief!. (It might work for you, though)!. What worked for me is:
(1) This diet: http://www!.fedupwithfoodadditives!.info (This really is the key for me!. Amines especially trigger depression in many people, me included!. For starters, avoid all citrus, tomatoes and meat or cheese that's not 100% fresh - eg!. salami, and processed meat = no, no; hard, yellow (aged) cheese is also bad)!. Chocolate & caffeine is also a never ending cycle of up and down, as it also contains amines that can cause neurochemical imbalance that leads to depression!. Basically, whatever you crave the most strongly, that is probably the thing you should avoid eating, because your body can't process it properly!. (Sounds crazy, but it's a tried and true principle in food intolerance circles)!.
(2) Crystal therapy (my husband is a talented crystal therapist)
(3) Homoeopathy (pulsatilla works wonders for me)
(4) Daily massage (from my hubby!.!.!. I think he usually likes giving the massages, because otherwise, when I'm having an episode, there is no other kind of touching going on)
(5) Journalling!. Writing down your thoughts, and trying out new ways of thinking!. For me, journalling is all about creating new beliefs and affirmations that can give me strength!.
(6) Spirituality also helps me a lot!. Prayer is a powerful tool, if you are a person of faith!.
I really feel you have no reason to feel guilty about not wanting to have sex!. We're only required, in this world, to give what we can, from the heart!. If your heart is not there, then your first responsibility is to yourself, to find healing for your heart!. I hope your hubby can understand and support you!. The more he does, the more likely you will begin to feel like your heart is full, and the more full your heart, the more able you will be to have sex, joyfully!. But it really is a neurochemical imbalance, also!. Depression is NOT "all in your head"!. It's not all about your thoughts, but it is also an actual physical illness, changing how you perceive things emotionally!.
My opinion is that having sex does not make life happier if you are depressed!. The solution is to heal your heart first, and then you can have sex if and when you feel that you want to!.
Something I have found about depression: The fundamental state of depression is a feeling of powerlessness!. To help yourself heal, you (and your hubby) need to find ways to help you feel empowered!. If you try and force yourself to do things that you don't emotionally WANT to do, you may be perpetuating your own cycle of disempowerment and depression!. Pay attention to your feelings and go with them, without guilt!. Your feelings are just as important as your husband's, and it seems like you are the one who is in more need of emotional support at present!. Give when you can, and understand that your best is ALWAYS good enough!.
Get out of the house, do a course, do something that you've always valued or thought was important, etc!. It really helps to contribute in a way that you find meaningful!. The feelings of being of worth expand slowly as you go along!. Be patient with yourself!. ? Blessings to you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com