cant reach orgasm at all! i use to be able to but havent in 3 years?!

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Your hormone level controls the sexual peak in both men and women. I would say go to a doctor that specializes in sexual disfunction and get your blood tested for hormone content levels. If the tests come back low, they can boost your levels back to normal for your age and that should take care of the problem. Another thing it could be is a lack of concentration at the end, you have to be focused all the way through to the end to get the desired result.

From the way you're describing the situation, you actually seem stressed, though you say you're not. You're desperate to have an orgasms and I think you are unaware that it only makes things more complicated. Have you had your hormones levels checked? This could be the answer. Or it could be something psychological. Or you need new sensations and experiments. You say you tried a vibrator. What kind? There are so many kinds that are designed for different types of stimulation. And the qualities differ. And also the materials and textures vary. So there is still hope for you :) Good luck!

I agree with other users here. You should check it out with your doctor. Maybe you got problem with your hormones.

http://www.vibrator.com.au/

Stress can be huge in distracting you. But you can always have your hormones checked by your Dr with a simple blood test.

I used to have the same problem. Don't worry about it. I'm sure you think about it when you're in the middle of it (I always did and that made it worse). Just repeat to yourself "I'm doing this for pleasure, not for orgasm". If you just let all the pleasure and only pleasure wash over you, an orgasm will occur. Think back to when this first started. What happened? Is it performance anxiety? I wouldn't try medication, it just hides the real problem and can sometimes make it worse or doesn't work at all. If it's a medical problem, take maca root. It's AMAZING. It's used in Peru to balance hormones and also for sexual enhancement. They take maca root instead of Viagra. Within less than a week of taking it, I was a sex fiend. It calms down after a while, but seriously, my boyfriend and I both take it and it's done some pretty awesome things for us. I haven't had a single "no orgasm" moment since. BEFORE you take maca root, I suggest seeing a sex therapist for this and possibly a medical doctor. It's all well worth your while.

Personal experience, lots of research, took a human sexuality class