I'm not really attracted to my boyfriend that much anymore- but I cannot le!
Question: I'm not really attracted to my boyfriend that much anymore- but I cannot leave him :(?
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He loves me more than anything in the world, does literally everything for me, always there for me and is always patient enough to put up with my paranoia and insecurities - he is honestly the epitome of a perfect boyfriend, and makes me feel like the happiest girl in the world.
Recently whenever we are together, I just find him annoying, I don't want him holding me, and I feel like it's an obligation to kiss him, not a desire. And I just keep thinking about other males that I'm attracted to - which is not something a girlfriend should be doing. I don't enjoy sex with him anymore- its become a bit of a chore.I also keep thinking of this absolutely gorgeous boy in my university.
I feel so bad about this, but I just can't leave him. He has never loved another girl before, and has even planned out our future together. Certain times he reminds me that if we ever broke up, he would break, because he honestly feels we should be together for the rest of our lives.
I just don't have the heart to break up with him. It would absolutely destroy him, he thinks the world of me. I love him, but I just don't feel the way one should, towards their partner. And if I'm constantly thinking about other guys. I know if we broke up, I would regret it, and become jealous if he found another girl - but I just feel like I should be with someone who I'm passionate about.
I'm 19 and he's 24. When he's with me I usually want us in the future but when we are apart, I miss him a lot a lot (we are in a long distance) but I do fantasize about other guys as well.
Should I just put up with him, and hope that this phase passes away?
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Honestly and truly, it's best to just end it now instead of dragging out the agony for months because you're afraid of hurting him. A clean cut heals fastest.
Trust me, he will eventually move on and so will you.
You can't force yourself into being attracted to someone.
You're only nineteen. There are a million and ten other fish in the sea. You don't have to stick with one just because he's the first adult relationship you've had.
Explore, travel, meet new people, date new people.
If you and him are *really* meant to be, he'll be there in the end.
He'd probably say otherwise, but you're not doing either of yourselves any favours. If it's not real, it's not real. He'll get over you and it'll probably do you both some good.
Let him go. Your only emotionally hurting yourself. You will know if you did the right thing once its done. listen to your heart.
Experience
Stop whining and dump him.
I am not going to read that. Try another section, hun.
You have a really tough question lol. But I think you just lost your passion for him. Maybe spend some time apart?
it sounds like you guys grew apart =(
Well, it is an unfortunate event but it can happen and there is not much you can do about it. I think you are going to have to break it to him I know that's a really hard thing to do, but you're not happy, and you may end up leading him on. You are 19, you should live your life. If you choose, break up with him in a thoughful way (NOT over internet, text) if you feel comfortable, have a talk with him. Maybe you do need some time apart. STICK WITH YOUR GUT
You need to break up with him. You owe it to both of you. You do him no favors by pretending to be into him when really you're bored and resentful. You'll break up with him eventually anyway, because no, I don't think this is a phase. Rather, it's a problem, and it has to be brought out into the open, either because at root it's a problem that needs to be addressed and possibly solved, or else a breakup is needed. Possibly a breakup will help to show you if it is a phase or not. It could push you and him into a new phase of your relationship, where you realize after a bit of time apart that he really IS what you want. Or you'll realize that you are better off apart. Either way, how humiliating is it to know that the woman you love has just been staying with you out of pity and cowardice for the past year or however long you stay with him before he realizes that when you're having sex you're actually bored and only pretending you're into him. The mature thing to do is to woman up and tell him the truth, no matter how unpleasant.