I was a victim of sexual harassment...help?!


Question: I was a victim of sexual harassment...help?
I was the victim of some longterm sexual harassment. It was from someone who was supposed to be my friend and would listen to me and act as a mentor figure but would continually make very unwanted moves on me and take advantage of me whenever necessary.
I recently took a stand and he is now out of my life. I have found myself to be very depressed in the past year, extremely aggressive, and unable to find a relationship of any kind. I can't really trust. Is this really all a result of being sexually harassed for so long?
I don't find myself finding stable relationships. I only hook up and then immediately want to disengage with that person. I am not clingy or feel any emotions. I am so skeptical of relationships, but I know I need one.
How do I move on from this?

Answers:

I don't think that anyone requires having a significant other. Sure it can be nice, but you certainly won't die if you without one. I think perhaps focusing on yourself and on platonic relationships might be more important at this stage in your life.
Focus everything you have on fulfilling your potential as a person. Be the best you that you can be. Work hard, maybe return to school, take a few classes, develop a hobby, travel, or volunteer some where in your community. Like at a soup kitchen or help build homes with habitat for humanity.
Create and explore new arenas in your life.
You'll feel happier when you have something to focus on, a goal to work towards. As you begin to accomplish things this will bring positive energy into your life. And who knows? Maybe you'll meet a new kind of man. I'm pretty sure that its a different breed of person who spends their weekends helping others instead of drowning themselves at a bar, etc. If you put yourself in new situations you'll gain new experiences & build new relationships.
Save up a little bit extra each month until you can afford a cheap cruise or a big road trip or even a flight to another country. It is possible.

Aside from this if you're really feeling crappy perhaps its time to look into your options for getting into therapy. Not all counselors or therapists are great. Mental health care is about finding a doctor that is a good fit for you. Sort of like finding a new pair of jeans that make your butt look good. One style does *not* work for everybody.
Honestly though it sounds to me like you can handle this. It will take some time for you to relax which is understandable, but I really think you are capable of bouncing back.
I have a friend from high school that was raped. For a long time she was snappy, depressed, mean, and like you had rocky romantic relationships. Each time she gets hurt though...she gets back up. It might take her a while, but she always gets back up. She starts to smile again, and laugh, and lets go of talking about beating people up. She has always found some way, something inside herself, that lets her look at life with new eyes. I don't envy the bumps in the road she's had, but I admire that quality about her that I might not have otherwise seen.
Stop worrying about how others think you should act, or what's on their minds. Not everyone is the same. If you are cut from a different cloth is that so bad? Instead of blending in, stand out. Be yourself. Feel what you feel, think what you think. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Only you know deep down what you really need. You know yourself better than anyone else. Just love yourself. Love your friends too. Either they'll catch on & love you too or they'll fade away. Either way in the end you'll be surrounded with love. That's what counts right?



sweetheart, first of all: i'm very sorry. i know how this can affect people. if your parents are still in the picture, try and talk to them about it... if not, talk to a teacher or a school counselor... any trusted adult, this should not be happening to you. and i'm very proud that you stood up for yourself before things got even worse. i'm sorry that this happened to you but now what you need to do is get help and make the best of your life :) good luck!



Um... Go see someone for help! and talk about how you feel and whats right for u... Such as a counselor, therapist.... And just go from there. You coulda sued that person.........




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