QUESTION FOR WOMEN..............?!

(you may judge me harshly, but you have to respect my honesty about the way I feel)

I realize this may be hard for most women my age to accept but here it goes.
I am 22 and sometimes I wear a diaper. I don't use it, when I use the restroom I take it off and use the restroom just like underwear , but it is like a security blanket it me, it's just emotional. It makes me feel safe and secure and it makes me feel special, cute and adorable like I'm little again, and I really like the way they look and and I like the way they feel. I have seen help and they tell me if it's not hurting anyone then there is nothing wrong with it, I mean some guys prefer boxers, some briefs, I prefer a fluffy soft cushy diaper on my bottom, to me it's just another piece of clothing, so could any girl accept this?, it's just a diaper, we all wore one once, and if you live long enough you will probably end up wearing one again.
I realize this probably sounds strange but I just wish I could find a girl who wouldn't think I was a creep, a freak or a weirdo, and really understand that I just miss being a kid sometimes. I know I could be a good loyal, loving boyfriend if I was only given a chance.

My mom abandoned me when I was 2 weeks old and my dad ignored me, so I've always dreamed of a strong, tall gorgeous woman treating me like a baby (put me in a big highchair, play peek a boo, tickle me and airplane baby food to me), dressing me up like one, (powder my bottom, dress me in a diaper, a onesie, booties, a bib, and a bonnet), give me a rattle, pushing me around in a stroller (in house) and playing mommy to me (give me a bottle or binki, put me in a crib and sing me to sleep). Kind of like just 2 grown ups playing house, (no sex involved) it's just fantasy play.

Is there anything wrong with that? If I was your boyfriend and I asked you occasionally, to play mommy like that sometimes, would you be up to the task? It would be much fun, and it's just a fantasy, I don't want or expect you to mother me 24/7. If you think about and compare all the guys out there that lie, cheat and abuse their women; my desire to occasionally be coddled and swaddled sometimes shouldn't be that bad, if you're willing to put things in perspective ,and not jump to conclusions.

I realize a most girl's would be shocked and their initial response may be to freak out or just say no, and if any girl would be open to that, it would take some convincing on my part.

My heart aches for something that seems so easy (for a girlfriend to do, if she's open minded), yet so hard to obtain. I know a lot of people would call me a freak, a creep or a weirdo and say other mean things but I have seen help and they told me if it's not hurting anyone than there's nothing wrong with the way I feel. I can hide my feelings and never tell any potential gf about it but i'll never be happy. If u can't trust to be open with a woman who supposedly loves you, then you've got nothing. If a man is willing to be honest about this with you, you know he's going to be honest about anything with you. If you think about and compare all the guys out there who lie,cheat, and abuse their women, my desire shouldn't be that bad, if your willing to put things in perspective and not jump to conclusions. No amount of therapy can replace what's been missing in my life (maternal love). If you really loved a man wouldn't you do this for him? I know it would be asking a lot of you as far as being very open minded, but couldn't you make him happy and forfill his childhood dream, just once, Is one time really too much to ask?

If you did that for him, he would be so so grateful, and it would make you the coolest, most wonderful, unbelievably understanding, amazing, awesome supergirl in the world. I would make sure it stayed a secret between me and you, behind closed doors and your friends/family would never find out, unless your told them.

A woman always wants to feel that her man can protect her if she needs it, so can't you express your love for your man by turning the tables on him and making him feel like he's the one who needs protection, for once? or once in awhile?
I may want tender love and care once in a while but it doesn't mean i'm not tough/strong enough to be your defender/protector (if necessary). I would promise to be a big boy and a manly man for you 99% of the time.

Look, i'm beggin for a girl to understand me. How could I tell a girl about this without her feeling uncomfortable around me?