sex not enjoyable? help please?!


Question: Sex not enjoyable? help please?
alright so my bf is the only person ive had sex with and we've done it about 6 times already and i can't reach an orgasm. it's also still very painful for me after we're finished. it's not that he's "small" either. we use condoms and lube and we do foreplay before. is there something wrong with me? will it get better as we do it more? any tips?

Answers:

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

I can't orgasm from just vaginal stimulation, so maybe that's your problem. He does foreplay for my pleasure, and the sex is for him, so it evens out.



There isn't anything wrong with you... you just might be a little nervous, when women are nervous during sex it's almost imposable for us to have a orgasm. Try to relax when you 2 are having sex, try a different position?
Yes, it will be better as you 2 have more sex. Because y'all both will begin to understand what turns each other on.

This website may help you...
http://www.ivillage.com/better-sex-easy-…



time for some Female Sexual Education:

check out what Dr. Drew Pinsky and Dr. Gail Saltz have to say here:

Dr. Gail: Women take on average 20 minutes of stimulation and arousal to have an orgasm. Men take quite a bit less. Women also have more variation in what they find to be stimulating as well as having more difficulty defining exactly where and how stimulation works best. Only 20 percent of women are able to orgasm with intercourse alone, most women need some sort of direct clitoral stimulation.

Dr. Drew: Yes, men and women are wired differently, moreover women are wired differently from each other. Many times women will feel as though they are flawed because they are not living up to a certain standard of climaxing. Men make it worse because they generalize what’s needed to make a woman climax. Often men believe women are the same, and once they figure what works for one woman they apply that same method to all the other women they are intimate with, and that’s one of the major problems.

50-60% of women will never have an orgasm via intercourse and will require clitoral stimulation to climax.
30% of women will have a reliable orgasm with intercourse.
10% of women will orgasm with intercourse and could possibly have sequential orgasms.
5% of women have true multiple orgasms only through intercourse and these women typically find oral sex uncomfortable.

It's also important to recognize that there really isn't such a thing as "vaginal" or "clitoral" orgasms. That terminology was invented mostly by psychologists way back when, before we even had real study on women's sexuality or on human orgasm in general. orgasms happen primarily in our brains and nervous systems, we simply feel the effects in our whole bodies, including our genitals. Women may arrive at orgasm through clitorial stimulus, but that doesn't make that orgasm clitoral. Make sense?

You might also find this New York Times interview of Dr. Elisabeth Lloyd on the evolutionary purpose of female orgasm interesting, and check out what she has to say on this matter:

Central to her thesis is the fact that women do not routinely have orgasms during sexual intercourse. She analyzed 32 studies, conducted over 74 years, of the frequency of female orgasm during intercourse.

When intercourse was "unassisted," that is not accompanied by stimulation of the clitoris, just a quarter of the women studied experienced orgasms often or very often during intercourse, she found. Five to 10 percent never had orgasms. Yet many of the women became pregnant.

Dr. Lloyd's figures are lower than those of Dr. Alfred A. Kinsey, who in his 1953 book "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female" found that 39 to 47 percent of women reported that they always, or almost always, had orgasm during intercourse. But Kinsey, Dr. Lloyd said, included orgasms assisted by clitoral stimulation.

And take a look at what renowned sexuality researcher Shere Hite has always found, too.

The problem here isn't your body or women's bodies. How could our bodies be a problem just as they are?

The problem is the expectation that vaginal intercourse is going to be as pleasurable for most women as it is for most men, which is a pretty silly one since it doesn't often stimulate our most sensitive parts. The problem is defining a kind of sex -- intercourse -- as THE sex, which is very often satisfying for men and even more often NOT satisfying for women.

The solution to that non-problem is educating your male partners so that they really understand that and know more about female sexuality and sexual anatomy, communicating with partners about what DOES feel good for you and what DOES result in orgasm for you, and not going nuts like the evil stepsisters in Cinderella by trying to make a show fit that just isn't likely to. The fact that intercourse alone is not satisfying for most women should not be destroying anyone's sex life, because any sex life with women in it should be taking women's bodies and sexuality into account, not making women try like crazy to make something work for them just because that's what male partners want to expect.

Imagine, if you would, if women expected their male partners to orgasm frequently or all the time when we rubbed their bottoms. It'd be pretty loopy of us to expect that, since even though it can feel nice to have your bottom rubbed, it's not a very stimulating activity and isn't something that results in orgasm for most people when that is all that's going on.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice…


http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/a…

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexual…




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