20 yr old female, no sex drive. PLEASE HELP!?!


Question: 20 yr old female, no sex drive. PLEASE HELP!?
I have been dating my boyfriend (once fiance) for over 3 years now. When we first started dating, our sex life was great! Not a single problem in the world. After about a year and a half, I got involved with another man, who made sex very unenjoyable for me, nearly violent and traumatizing. Well, I obviously got out of that and am now back with the man of my dreams. I love him to death, but I have a very hard time bringing myself to have sex. I find him attractive, and we have lots of chemistry. I know what happened with the ex has a lot to do with it. My body almost feels scared to get involved again? But here's the thing.. when me and my boyfriend DO have sex its just so uncomfortable. It doesn't feel good and it used to. So I'm not really sure what to do. I know this disappoints him and he knows about what happened with the ex so he's understanding. I just want to have the urge to have sex again, be able to enjoy sex again, and go back to the way our sex life was.

I've read a lot of suggestions to talk to a doctor, but I was hoping I could find other ways. Are there any natural ways of increasing my drive? Is there something maybe he could do to help me? I'm just so completely lost and out of ideas at this point.

Answers:

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

i think your probably focusing too much on the abusive relationship you were in and its causing problems with Your sex life. defiantly talk to a sex therapist or therapist in general to work out your issues.



sounds like it's mostly mental, not physical. i would suggest talking to a therapist about what happened, maybe they could help



It's all mental your sex drive is there (if that makes any sense) but you have something mental that's holding you back. I don't know how you left your abusive sex relationship, you could need closure. I know that you rather handle it on your own but counseling seems like the best answer especially if you been out the traumatizing relationship in a while. I also think a well trained professional will offer alot of good tips and exercises you could do to help you. Good luck




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