Being Touched In A Sexual Way ?!


Question: Being Touched In A Sexual Way ?
Hello. My mates and I are on our gymnastics Academy's National Team, so we spend a lot of time alone with our coach. During our first team training session, he has extremely nice and he told us that we could come talk to him about anything. About 3 month later he started to get really touchy. At first we just ignored it because sometimes coaches have to touch the gymnasts, but than he started massaging us, patting us on our bums, kissing us on the lips, forehead, and cheek, making us sit on his lap, etc.. My mate Giselle and myself told him that we weren't comfortable with him kissing us and asked if he would mind not doing it. He told us that " that was just his way of showing us that he's proud of us and we'll get use to it." When he said that Giselle and I thought we were just overreacting. None of the others girls on the team were complaining. Than 3 months after that our team captain and also a very good mate of mine, Victoria had stopped coming to trainings. She never misses them. So I went to her flatt and I asked her were has she been and is everything okay ? She told me "no". Victoria told me that she doesn't want to be around our coach anymore. She went on to tell me that one weekend he had invited her to have lunch in London with him. She said since she was captain, in a way she felt obligated to go. Victoria than said that after lunch they had went back to his flatt because he wanted to show her old videos of his other former gymnasts, she said the only reason she agreed was because he told her that his girlfriend would be there. When they had gotten there, his girlfriend had gone out to visit family. She said while they were watching the videos, he had started putting his hand up her leg and started kissing her. She told him to stop and she had started to cry. He told her that "it's okay he's her coach and she's his athlete she can trust him" she doesn't have to be scared and how it won't hurt". Vicky told me that it hurt so much and she trusted him. She said she keeps having nightmares and she wants to tell someone but she thinks it's her fault for "giving it to him". The next day me and the rest of the girls met at a cafe and discussed the problem. They said they've all been touched by him ( on the bum, chest, private areas etc.. ) I know I want to tell someone,( I'm really close to both my parents, especially my dad, but I don't know to how tell them. What if they get mad and think it's my fault ? Most of us one the national team are 16 and 17 years old and our coach just turned 24. What would be the best way to tell them ?

Answers:

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

Go to the police, he is a sexual predator, no matter who he is. If your having problems telling your parents, i suggest writing them and asking them to read it when your out of the house if you need to. His actions are completely inappropriate. don't go near him again. People like that don't change, and no matter what, don't let him win, fight, whichever, you have a right to be, and feel safe.



Tell everyone you possibly can. Don't let him get away with this. Tell your parents as soon as possible, you will be glad you did. This is not your fault, no one would ever think that about you. Good luck and I hope you have the courage to tell! Don't let him do the same thing to other girls.



TELL UR PARENTS, AND CALL THE POLICE U GUYS WONT BE BLAMED FOR ANYTHING CAUSE UR STILL MINORS AND UNDER 18 YEARS OLD AND EVEN IF U WERENT HE COULD STILL GO TO JAIL FOR THAT TELL UR PARENTS RIGHT NOW, SO THAT THEY COULD LOCK HIM UP FOR GOOD.



If this is true -- what your coach is doing is sexual molestation -- and illegal -- esp. since he is an authority figure (coach/teacher) -
Tell your parents that the team needs to have a meeting - and can they meet at your house --(or meet at a church or some other local meeting place) -NOT SCHOOL --
Then tell every girl to be at the meeting with their parents -- All of you must stick together --
When everyone is there -- you and the other girls tell them that the team has some information that they need to tell about -- say "This about about Coach ____ -- we are not comfortable with some of the things that are going on - and we didn't know how to talk with you (parents) about it -- He has seduced one girl on the team - and raped her(which is legally what having sex with a minor is!) - and he has been feeling up and kissing some of us -- and we need to have a talk before all of this goes any further --" By then- you are going to get questions from the parents - and each girl can tell her story --
Your friend that was raped - should have gone to the police immediately and got a rape kit done (for proof) - so now it will be her word against his --
Expect the police to be brought in on this - expect school officials to be brought in on this -- and expect your coach to face charges and be fired -- maybe even jail - So don't play at this if it is not absolutely true !
But this man is a sexual Predator and he is trying to seduce young girls -- and you will not be the last if something is not done -



OF COURSE they won't get mad! He raped one of the girls, and innapropriately touched the rest of you; that's illegal, especially considering that you're still underage (at least in America) and you ASKED him to stop. He could get in serious trouble for that. You need to talk to your parents and possibly alert the authorites, or at least get him fired. Good luck :)



What happened to your friend was rape! Your coach is a perv and he abuses his position as a man of authority. I was molested as a child and because I kept my mouth shut other kids got hurt as well. you need to turn him in and soon. he is a very sick man and you have done nothing to be ashamed of. This man needs to be taken away from any young women and put in prison. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOU IN ANY WAY it is not their right and you should never get used to it.



Ok first of (sighs) you NEED to get a restraining order for you and your team mates. Please PRETTY please tell your dad about or call the school/ leader of the gymnasts team or whatever just get the pervert fired or go to jail for sexual/raped charges. What he did to you guy WAS a big no no because it was agents your guy's will! I soo sorry about your friend that is a huge violation he must go to jail what he done to her.

Get the bastred fired/lock up for good. uhm.. >.<



you need to tell your parents. they will not be upset with you. they will definitely be upset with him, but you and the other girls are victim to sexual abuse and you definitely should tell them. if you don't feel ready to tell your parents, tell a trusted adult, but be aware, you are going to have to tell them eventually. it may help if you and your friend's tell someone together. that might make it easier. but you need to tell an adult about this before it's too late. because if he gets away with it, other's may possibly become victims. hun, you are not alone. it's all going to be ok.



I highly doubt that your parents will think that it's your fault. Many parents instinctively defend their children, especially since sexual assault is NEVER the victim's fault! He's very obviously taking advantage of you. Just tell your parents straight up. Tell them you have a problem and that you want to talk to them together. Sit them down and tell them everything you just wrote out on here and explain it to them. Something really needs to be done about this man because once you guys leave the team, he'll just keep doing it until he gets caught, and who knows how much worse it'll be by then? Trust me, your parents will understand, especially if you're really close to them. My parents were extremely sympathetic and caring when I confided in them about something similar that happened to me. You'll be just fine =)

Personal experience




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