Is he too old for me?!


Question: Is he too old for me?
I'm 17, he's 20. Too old? How old is too old?

Answers:

I would say yes.. No matter how mature you are or where you are in your life, or where he is in his. You're still a teenager, and he's an adult. It's just a matter of you two being in very different stages of life. I would not do it if I were you. It's not so much age as it is just stages of life. But make no mistake age is NOT just a number. My friend who was sixteen really messed herself up thinking that.

I know it can be tempting.. I had the chance to decide to date someone who was 21 once. I was seventeen. He was obviously far more mature than any guys I knew who were my age, and he had his own apartment, was in college, made time for the things he loved and still was responsible, basically everything I had wanted in a guy but never ended up finding in high school for obvious reasons. He was also basically where I pictured myself in a few years, and it was so appealing. I kissed him and I think that just made me realize exactly how much I was not ready to be in a relationship with him though. He was just in a different place than I was and it's not the best idea to try to force a relationship out of that.

I also ended up dating someone shortly after that who closer to my age, 18. Who was still everything I wanted but just in a much more compatible place in his life to mine. We're still together.

If you really like this guy, and he really likes you. Just try to wait a year. He'll still be there if you matter to him. When you're eighteen you'll be in a really different place in life, trust me. Legally being an adult just puts you somewhere completely different. Like right now if you dated him, he probably wouldn't be too happy about having to drop you off by a curfew when he used to dating girls old enough to do whatever they want. It's just things like that that may bot seem like a big deal to you, but it can add up to a bad ending. It would sort of be like you dating someone who was fifteen. Even though the age difference isn't significant. You're about to graduate high school soon, can probably drive or are getting close to it, and just have matured a lot more. They would be just started to figure out high school, their identity, all those things that come with being fifteen. So you can see how even if you really liked someone who was fifteen it probably just wouldn't work out.

The thing is when you're a teenager, life stages change really fast. Like you can understand the difference between 14 and 17 pretty well. Well even though it slows down as you get older it's still significant through you're late teens and twenties. So 17 and 20 is a big difference in that respect, where as 23 and 26 is not. It's just how growing up works.



In general, I would say yes. But it's not so much the three years difference that is the problem here. You're in very different places in life. At least I hope you are. You're still in high school, and he's graduated and is either in university or working. Your priorities are likely very different.

But if the two of you really have a solid relationship, that's not an issue. But since you're asking, there must be some doubts. How do your friends and family feel about him? If they all say that he's too old, there's probably something else wrong that they can't find the words for.

Be very careful about a relationship like this. Make certain of your feelings, and take things slow. That way if things aren't what they seem, you have time to get out before you get in too deep.



i don't hes too old i started dating my husband when i was 17 and he was 21!!! i think 10 years older is too old but really you can't put an age limit if you fit you fit age shouldn't matter well as long as it's legal and in your case it should be just depends on what state you're in



I usually think about 'life stages' more than years. You two are in different stages of life but you're probably graduating soon and will be in the same stage. I think he's a wee bit old for you but not badly...no biggie.



Well you are over the age of consent (16)

but its still iffy since you aren't 18, but 3 years isn't that bad. If he was 24 and up I would have been like "Too old"



age is just a number. if you love him and he loves you, then thats the only thing that matters. dont let anyone tell you otherwise :)



It's perfect, once he's 21 you can be sober cab. :D



no, I would say that a five year difference is usually too old.



No hes not too old but it basicly depends on how u feel



No he is not to old




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