Bad first experience?!
Question:
Bad first experience?
My girlfriend had a bad first sexual experience and is hurt during penitration she has been to doctors and she as checked out ok, I havent tried to force intercorse on her in the least bit because I don't want to hurt her. Can someone give me serious advice. I would really rather a females perspective but any help will be appreciated.
Answers:
You don't state what her bad experience was, but my guess would be that she was an unwilling participant the first time she had intercourse (i.e. she was raped or molested). I state that simply because I know an awful lot of women who were raped when they were young.
My friends who were raped have told me that later on, consensual sex was very difficult for them, and in most cases, very painful. One of them told me that it took two years of visiting doctors before she finally found out the reason--she was extremely tense. That causes the vaginal muscles to tense, as well, and it can cause tremendous pain on penetration.
My advice to you is to simply continue being understanding, and not forcing the issue. There are a lot of things you can do which don't involve penetration. When she is comfortable enough to relax fully with you, maybe the pain will go away, as well. Until then, please just love her, and be patient with her. A bad experience takes a long time to work through, and a bad sexual experience is no different.
When she is ready, please be sure to practice safe sex, so that she doesn't have to worry about other issues, and be sure to use a lot of lubricant, as that will help ease things along.
In the meantime, just continue to be good to her. Someone has treated her badly, and no woman deserves that.
Be well.