Unsuccessful Sexual Intercourse :-(?!


Question:

Unsuccessful Sexual Intercourse :-(?

I am a male of 29 yrs, my wife is about 26 years.
We got married last week, the problem is I am unable to penetrate my wife’s vagina. She screams even if I put a finger inside, she tells me it causes her immense pain. Tough we have tried a lot, I was unsuccessful in the penetrating. There is no problem with my erection, and my size is a normal one. I have also tried foreplay, and sexually arousing her before sex, that too was of no good. It seems her vagina is small. After talking to her regarding the issue, I have discovered she is a bit afraid of sex (she comes from a very small town), afraid that it might lead to tremendous bleeding.

I have heard, something about cracked vagina’s, can any one tell me about the same.

Is there any medicine available, which could be of any help to me/us. Is there any way, we could make love to each other. This is really very important as I think she is getting depressed day by day, and I love her a lot.

Thank you, for your time.


Answers:

First of all, I want to say that I think it's really awesome how concerned you are for your wife and how she feels. It's good that you're trying to get her aroused before sex...definitely keep doing that, as it might help her to relax more and not experience as much pain.

Keep trying to use your finger to stretch her out inside. Start with just the tip of your finger (or however much she can handle comfortably) and keep sliding your finger in until she says stop. You might also try just using the tip of your finger to gently make a circular motion inside...this might help stretch out her muscles.

Also, try using lube (like K-Y jelly) on your finger when trying to stretch out her muscles. It'll make your finger slide in easier and it may not hurt her as much.

There are sex toys available that might help stretch her out inside as well. Go to a sex shop and ask about them, or if you're not comfortable with that, check around online.

If she doesn't know this already, reassure her that it is totally normal for sex to hurt a woman the first few times, but it DOES get better. Also reassure her that bleeding is normal too, although a lot of women don't bleed the first time they have sex. If she's really concerned about bleeding a lot, put a towel down on the bed, that way she won't worry about making a mess. Maybe she feels embarrassed about these things? Reassure her that you love her and will take care of her and that she doesn't need to worry about being embarrassed in front of you.

Sex doesn't have to be just about intercourse only. Experiment with kissing and touching and finding out what really turns both of you on. That's very intimate and again, it might relax her enough so she won't feel so anxious. Try oral sex if you haven't already.

If you two are really truly concerned something's wrong from a medical standpoint, she can see her gynocologist and ask questions , be examined, and possibly have a procedure done to open her up more.

Most importantly though, just keep talking to each other about your thoughts, feelings, and concerns. A lot of times, sexual problems come down to psychological issues, such as being anxious or worried about something. Reassure her that you love her and that you're there for her. Like I said before, it sounds like you really care about how she's feeling and that's great.

Hope this helps!




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