What would you do if you started developing a crush on a support worker?!
Question: I have a community support worker that helps me get out of the house and goes shopping with me and goes for drives with me due to my having anxiety and panic attacks.....the thing is that we get along really well and i actually look forward to the days i see this person.I also find myself thinking about this person more than i think is healthy.I dont know what i should do,if i should ask for another worker to help me get out and about as i dont think that i should be developing a crush on a person who is a comminty worker but i also know that at this time in my life i am vanurable to thinking like this any sujjestions???
Answers: I have a community support worker that helps me get out of the house and goes shopping with me and goes for drives with me due to my having anxiety and panic attacks.....the thing is that we get along really well and i actually look forward to the days i see this person.I also find myself thinking about this person more than i think is healthy.I dont know what i should do,if i should ask for another worker to help me get out and about as i dont think that i should be developing a crush on a person who is a comminty worker but i also know that at this time in my life i am vanurable to thinking like this any sujjestions???
You're normal, Dreamer2, so ride it out. Haven't you heard many times that patients undergoing psycho-therapy often "fall in love" with the therapist? The same is happening here so don't be fooled by the change in job description. This person is helpful, caring, funny, understanding, intelligent, and maybe good looking (or getting better looking as the crush grows)? It's normal human behavior to feel sweet things and have sweet thoughts about someone who offers all of that emotional food. Look in the mirror and say "I'm grateful to be getting simple human kindness, which I deserve simply as a kind human." when you worry that you shouldn't be feeling ANYthing for this community support worker. EVERYthing that tickles the heart isn't lusty romance building up. I repeat: Look in the mirror and say "I'm grateful to be getting simple human kindness, which I deserve simply as a kind human." Go! Now :^)
it u match in personalities i dnt think it is bad if its not against rules,,,supposeing u r not a married women,,,
but seperate work from love,...good luck
If you feel that your crush is not returned, then it would be best to contact the agency through which this person works and explain the situation honestly. There is no question in my mind that you are not the first, and won't be the last, to feel this way. The agency should be able to assign a different person to help you if you feel this would be the right course of action.
Be sure to tell the agency's representatives that it is NOT anything that the support worker has done (presuming this is true), but is a situation for which you consider yourself responsible, and that you simply want to change it before it gets out of hand.
Good luck.
Talk to your case worker this is your problem not the support workers. To do differently may impact their work and may put their job in jeopardy. Be kind enough to make sure that the case worker knows it is all one sided and is not being acted upon.
Talk to this person more and more. You seem like you are probably pretty old(like at least not in high school) so maybe ask if they want to get coffee or a beer or something along those lines.
okay i dont see the problemo here? theres not problem if unless hes older and ur not of legal age but go for theres no reason not to if u like him go after this is crush that might actually work especially since u to are together a lot and see each other often theres no reason to no go for it!!!!!get up the courage and grow some confidence swallow ,wipe the sweat of ur brow and dive man dive!
A tough one, and nothing to scoff at. "Transference" is a common occurrence between patients and therapists of all kinds, and it can be really troublesome. On the other hand, love does bloom in the strangest places.
The thing is, a personal relationship with this person might really endanger their professional standing if they do feel something toward you beyond professional care. I think, particularly in today's world, that protecting the reputation of those we care for is something really important. So it's not a good idea to embark on something personal while this person is in your service.
At the same time, expressing your feelings is something that needs to be done for you own well-being. If I was in your position, I think I would try to have a moment together with the person alone and tell them that you feel tenderly toward them. Tell them you want to be responsible, but that you've got the feeling that you've started to feel romantically. Such a better way of putting it than "sexual".
Explain your concerns for them -- but I think you need to make it clear that despite the way you feel that it's something that you can't act on in your present circumstances.
That doesn't have to be the beginning or the end of it. It's just a change, and however the person reacts, if they're as good as you think it'll make things easier, if you're really sure about the way you feel, to say it gently and get it out in the open a little bit.
Maybe this is because you see this person more than anyone else.l believe this is a natural instinct.You need to meet more people in your community. l am sure there are other interests that you can involve yourself with.On the other hand,there may be mutual feelings.Have you any vibes from this support worker.?
i can feel 4 you. i think here was a movie on this subject.
I'm 43 and I see a therapist once a week for 1 hour and I have a crush on him! So I can relate to what you are saying. I was thinking of saying something and asking for a new therapist and then I thought what the hell. It's one time in my life when I actually feel good and alive and I trust him not to take advantage of my vulnerability - in fact he doesn't even know how I feel.
Sometimes liking someone too much can give you a good feeling inside and other times it can mess you up. Only you can decide if you can handle this crush or whether you need to find another support worker.
Hope it all works out well for you.
I would say it depends on the relationship you've established, people give silent signals when there interested in someone... I would look for those. Try not make any rash decisions. I suggest what someone else mentioned above, ask him if he wants to go do something fun sometime instead of go shopping for food... maybe go to a movie... something simple... But if you have problems with anxiety perhaps that's a bad idea. Maybe ask if he wants to watch a movie at your house because of this... be sure to pick something neutral no love flicks, no horror, comedy is pretty safe. If he's interested in you, the feeling should avail itself naturally, it normally does.
But overall watch for those hidden signals... If he offers to pay all the time, opens doors for you, seems genuinely interested in making you feel good. Certain smiles, and movements.... I'm a dead give away when I'm around someone I like... I blush bad... lol
Good luck!
Thats my 2 cents.
For his sake, you may want to ask for a different person. He could get into alot of trouble. Its called fraternization and companies tend to frown upon that. If you get a new person then you can proceed with trying to talk to him if you so choose. But really if you try to do that before hand dont you think it would be extremely awkward if he said he didnt feel the same way about you? Really its looking to me like you just need to find someone you dont have these kinds of feelings for. Sorry!
You spelled suggestions wrong.
sex always works for these kind of situations, i doubt the support worker will reject you unless you are really unattractive or stinky or something