How to help him to get out of his depression?he thinks he is the worst person on!
Question: My brother is in a deep depression.He was engaged 5 months ago and his fiance was 4 months pregnant.Suddenly he called off the engagement and asked his fiance to make abortion and they broked up.Sadly she lost the baby because of the stress.Soon he started dating another girl but he had erection problems and was unable to have sex with her and he explained his problem with that she is unattractive(she is really).His ex is a very beautiful and sexy girl ,like a model,and may be he compares her to this girl.Now he wants his ex fiance back but he knows she won't back to him and recently she told him to stop pursue her.Now he is in a big depression and lost interest in everything.He thinks he is the worst person on that world.I would like to help him.Any ideas how i could help him.
Answers: My brother is in a deep depression.He was engaged 5 months ago and his fiance was 4 months pregnant.Suddenly he called off the engagement and asked his fiance to make abortion and they broked up.Sadly she lost the baby because of the stress.Soon he started dating another girl but he had erection problems and was unable to have sex with her and he explained his problem with that she is unattractive(she is really).His ex is a very beautiful and sexy girl ,like a model,and may be he compares her to this girl.Now he wants his ex fiance back but he knows she won't back to him and recently she told him to stop pursue her.Now he is in a big depression and lost interest in everything.He thinks he is the worst person on that world.I would like to help him.Any ideas how i could help him.
Take your size 'whatever' boot and shove it up his butt for the way he treated his pregnant fiance! She will NEVER ever get over the loss of a child, especially one so far along! And now he having ED problems? Blames it on another girl? Whoa - he's right he is the worst person. He needs to face his demons on what he did and MAKE IT RIGHT with the ex by apologizing. But NOT for the sake of getting back together.
As for your helping him once you remove your boot, just be there and let him know where he went wrong, and to get some counseling before he kills another baby of his.
Strenuous physical exercise.
It's his life, he has to want to change it. You can't force him to do what you think is right.
all you can do is listen to him if he feels like talking. What he did to that girl was churlish and he should feel bad about it.
He has to find something new to build interest in - not someONE. He needs to find something more in life to focus on than his relationship. Maybe go volunteer with some local organization so that he can begin to focus on other people instead of himself.
Once he gets out of his depression, he really needs to examine why he did what he did to screw up both of those relationships so he doesn't do it again in the future.
HE DOESN'T SEEM DEPRESSED AT ALL. HE IS JUST SELFISH.
Teach him abstinence.
He needs to start taking baby steps to learn how to love and be charitable. Doing stuff like working at soup kitchens, or other charitable place opens the eyes to a broader world.
Talk to a professional counselor. You have access to the internet, so go to maps.google.com and look up people in your area. Or search google or yahoo for websites. They will be able to help you, give you ideas for helping your brother, in much more detail and a much deeper level than you will get on Yahoo Answers. Try to talk your brother into getting help, too. It sounds like he has a lot of issues and deep emotional problems.
Be there for him to talk to, but don't judge him. Don't discredit his feelings, either, don't try to tell him to "get over it." If he thinks he's terrible, you can say, "I think you're wonderful, you're my brother and I love you," but don't say, "You shouldn't feel that way." Or anything like that. He feels what he feels, and needs to deal with his pain and problems, not ignore them.
By the way, I don't think his erection problems are because of the other woman's unattractiveness, but his own issues and feelings about the loss of his fiance and baby. He needs to deal with those things. Help him deal with it in positive ways, though. Some people might turn to alcohol, drugs or self-destructive behavior when they get depressed. Good luck.
Your brother sounds very, very depressed from all the stressful, negative events going on. He's having symptoms of severe depression if he thinks he's the worse person in the world. Depression distorts our thoughts; thoughts are connected to feelings. This past year I've been very depressed, too, from ongoing family problems. I ruminated a lot (I still struggle with it). Rumination means that people beat up on themselves mentally and feeling very bad about themselves. Your brother needs professional help. Depression can be very serious and it can lead to self destructive feelings. If he doesn't have a psychiatrist and a therapist, he should call his local hospital and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist and therapist. If there's a community mental health agency in your city, that's also a good place to start. If your brother's feelings get out of hand, he should go to an Emergency Room.
In the meantime, try to be as supportive to your brother as possible. Tell him not to judge himself...and that his thoughts are signs of depression, an illness. Tell him that depression tells lies. Tell him that he is a good person who is struggling with some difficult life events. We all make mistakes, have things that go wrong. It would be good for him to talk to a supportive therapist. Medications can also help. Tell him that depression temporarily colors our world and life black. Let him know that the sun always comes out again and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take care. You are a very nice brother to seek help for your brother on Yahoo Answers. He is fortunate to have you.
First of all let me say I am not a doctor of any kind, but i did deal with depression myself at one point. You feel like you are in a dark hole and don't know how to get out. The truth is, he can not get out of this on his own. He will need help so I am so glad you see that he needs some help here.
I can tell you that he will not be able to really be in a relationship until he fixes himself on the inside. Otherwise it is like a bandaid and as soon as something else goes wrong, he will go back into depression. You are going to need to talk him into either talking to someone or going to his regular doctor and getting him on some medication. I take Lexapro, but there are several out there.
At first I was upset that I had to take something to "be normal", but once it got into my system I could think clearly again and realized that what causes depression to begin with is a cemical imbalance and the med's will help to straighten this back out.
I wish I had better news, but from someone who has been there this is the truth of what works. It will be hard to talk him into either at this point so you may even have to make the appt. for him and then just take him. Don't rely on him to do this on his own. When you are in that state, you can not think real clear about what is right or wrong so you will have to push him and not give up.
good luck.