What can a family do?!
Question: My brother is 18 and doesn't like to work or go to school, all he does all day is play PS3. My mom, dad, and i have had enough of it, we are lost in despair. How can we get him to work and go to school. It's real sad to watch him stay at the house all day and not have goals. It's very depressing and my mom can take the emotional pain she is going through. What can we do to get my brother to work and go to school? He won't listen and is very hard headed . PLease help
Answers: My brother is 18 and doesn't like to work or go to school, all he does all day is play PS3. My mom, dad, and i have had enough of it, we are lost in despair. How can we get him to work and go to school. It's real sad to watch him stay at the house all day and not have goals. It's very depressing and my mom can take the emotional pain she is going through. What can we do to get my brother to work and go to school? He won't listen and is very hard headed . PLease help
Very simple to fix.
My son, like your brother was a permanent couch potatoe, when he turned 18 and expected to have meals ready, spending money for cigarrets, sodas and treats without having to work. Not even around the house!
One morning as he was watching the T.V. and playing his video games, I began packing 3 suitcases with his clothes and belongings. Those items which I had purchased for him were NOT included in the suit cases.
I sat the suit cases on the porch, turned the T.V. off and grabbed the video controller from him and escorted him to the door. I gave him the newspaper and blessed him then I shut the door on him. He banged on the door but I did not let him in. I instead gave him directions to the Town Shelter and told him to look for a job and a place to stay.
His childhood home was evicting him for non-payment of rent.
He called his buddies, left home for about 2 years. He'd tell everyone what heels he had for parents and family. I prayed a lot to God asking that his adult behavior would kick in.
It did. He called one night and asked if he could "come talk about something". I said yes but you're not staying. He acknowledged. When he came he got on his knees and asked forgiveness for what he had put us through. He said he loved us and didn't realized that until he found out nobody out there was putting up with his behavior. Doors were closing in on him from everywhere.
He got himself together. He now has a family, makes $175,000 a year doing what he can do best -- fixing computers and programming video games! Talk about a turn around! Thanks to God my son saw the light and is now a saved person.
Take the PS3 away. Give him an ultimatum...either he gets a job and starts school..or he's out of the house. Tough love works.
Hmm, only thing I can recommend is to kick him out. Give him a taste of the real world.
your brother needs to realise that he isnt alone, we all would rather not go to school or work. but we have to in order to survive!
i would get someone who he really looks up to, to talk to him about it because that different to family.
he needs to start living
Take his toys away.
My folks always said that I had to live by their rules if I was to live under their roof. If I didn't like it, I could pack my bags and see if life is better somewhere else. THEY MEANT IT.
Maybe it is time to fill his suitcase with his essentials and show him the door. He IS 18!!!
Is there any possibility he is suffering from clinical depression? Has he got a learning disability that has not been diagnosed? Social anxiety? Arrange an appointment with a doctor for him. If he goes, there is a good chance he can get help. If he refuses to go, get the duffel packed. TOUGH LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!
tell him he has to start paying rent or he is kicked out, he will either find a friend to live with, which they wont let him live there for free so he will get a job, or he will stay and get a job. eithere way he should be paying rent or some of the electricity bill i think.
My son was the same way, I exercised tough love when he was 20. I went with him to apply for a job,I waited in the car, let him save some money, then we went apartment hunting. He had an old car I gave him for graduation, so he could get to work each day. He fought it, but realized I was serious. I told him he could come over for a meal and ride with us to Church and he does. We get along a lot better now, and he is glad he made the move. Tough love is required sometimes.
i hate to say it... i have no answer... you have all the answers you need already... sorry it's not going to be easy for any of you, but he has to be put on the right path. in life you sink, or swim. it's time for his swimming lessons. how old is he any way?
How about you just make him focus on school right now? he doesn need to work yet, he should focus on school.
Someone he trusts needs to ask him what's going on and talk to him. I mean is he just being stubborn or does he have problems he isn't mentioning? Maybe he needs to see a doctor if there's more to it? i was that way when I was younger but I was afraid to go to school or work.... so it really depends on what his reasons are. If he's simply being bratty I agree with the dose of reality but if there's something else going on, that may not be the way to go
Make him go to Job Corps and tell him he cannot live at home anymore because letting him stay and be lazy is not helping him. You could also get a draft card from your local post office and fill it out for him and send it in. That is what I did for my stepson who had the exact same behavior. I put my foot down and said, you have no choice or be homeless. At least at Job Corps which is a Federal program, you will have a bed and food and schooling and trade training. Good luck. I feel for your family. Been there, done that.
HEY..Been there....not a good a good place!
First take the PS 3 away... as in completely away...out of the house ..gone.
Second ..have a family meeting.. the result of which will be an ultimatum to him... get a part time job and go to school..starting tomorrow...or get a full time job starting tomorrow.
Every fast food place in the WORLD has a sign up "help wanted" he just became the help one of them needed!
Third.. while you are having this "meeting"...which he probably won't participate in...too bad for him... decide what % of his new job money would be a fair amount to pay for "rent" ..
The longer you facilitate his lazy behavior...the harder it will be for him to take responsibility for his own actions.
I know how hard this will be..."what will he do..where will he go..???" Try really hard to have it not come to that...but if it does ..so be it.
His "friends" may come to his aid at first...but his "friends PARENTS" will tell him to go home where he belongs..
Hang i n there...it doesn't get easier...but he has to know that there are consequences for his bad behavior. It doesn't mean that you won't help...but it does mean you will no longer allow him to waste away in your house....tough I know..
He has to see a need to work...It's honestly that simple.
If he has no home, has no source of food and has no source of clothing, he'll see a need. It sounds harsh, but the only thing that can be done for someone who refuses to take care of themselves is to stop taking care of them.
If I were in your parent's shoes, I'd give him 30 days to find a job or else he will need to move... And you can't waver from that decision.
I know it would be hard watching him just sitting there all day, but he must like sitting there playing PS3. Maybe he's depressed, if he doesn't want to leave the house.
Give him an ultimatum...either he gets a job and starts school..or he's out of the house.