How do i get back to my old self??!
Question: I am 19 years old, and i should have a happy life! I constantly feel like I'm getting compared to my older, Engineer/Lawyer brother (I am just a Nursing Major BTW). It has been this way since I can remember, we have always competed for attention and what not.
Now, I am in a semi-serious relationship and I am letting this get in the way. I get angry and upset for no reason other than to start stuff (I am almost positive that i am doing it solely for attention and to be reassured that i am still loved) But i don't know how to stop!
My insecurity is inhibiting my relationship with my parents, brother and boyfriend. I don't know what to do, but i am willing to do ANYTHING to get it to stop. I can hardly live in my own head, I dont know how they put up with me. =/
Answers: I am 19 years old, and i should have a happy life! I constantly feel like I'm getting compared to my older, Engineer/Lawyer brother (I am just a Nursing Major BTW). It has been this way since I can remember, we have always competed for attention and what not.
Now, I am in a semi-serious relationship and I am letting this get in the way. I get angry and upset for no reason other than to start stuff (I am almost positive that i am doing it solely for attention and to be reassured that i am still loved) But i don't know how to stop!
My insecurity is inhibiting my relationship with my parents, brother and boyfriend. I don't know what to do, but i am willing to do ANYTHING to get it to stop. I can hardly live in my own head, I dont know how they put up with me. =/
You need cognitive therapy. You need to change the way you think. Instead of telling yourself that your no better than him and he gets all the attention, try telling yourself that your smart too and is capable of doing the same thing if you choose.
I have to do this ofton when it comes to my hubbys ex. she always looks like a million bucks and her house is always clean...I on the other hand feel like a frumpy old house wife (even thou I am only a year older)
I just tell myself (when it gets me down) that I have four small kids compared to her one (14yo) and I could look like her if I put more into myself....I rather spend the extra on my kids....so I choose to be like this so I might as well be happy!
Sorry if this is to long. but my point is, your a nurse because thats what you WANT to be....so enjoy who you are and let yourself be happy for your brother for what he is. Im sure your an awesome person but I believe your mood reflects your thoughts....so try to change it up a bit and not be so hard on yourself.
And hey! Nurses are VERY Important people in this world...so thank you!!!!
The answer is simple, kick back on the sofa with a soda, tv show or video game, take off of work, and do this for a couple days and you should calm down. I recommend lots of canned soup too. This should relive your stress.
just be yourself and every thing will be okey.
I would suggest talking to someone. There is a stigma placed on mental health that makes people feel it somehow makes them bad if they see a professional for help....This is not the case, mental illness is very very common and very treatable in most cases.
The BEGINNING of the solution is to talk to your parents about their constant comparisons. My wife had this problem with her parents. She felt that they loved her less because her sister was the subject of their every conversation.
Finally, she wrote them an email explaining how she felt and how they made her feel. You don't need a lot of examples in the letter. Your feelings are yours and you can't get them "wrong". Their behavior makes you feel X. It does not have to be a very long email.
The next thing you have to do is to tell yourself something I tell most people who come to me. Things do not happen TO you. You are not a victim. You MAKE things happen.
What does this mean? It means ONLY you can make it happen that you stop doubting what you see right in front of you. You see a boyfriend who is with you by CHOICE. He is with you for YOU. Take it or leave it. Don't make him jump through hoops to show you how much he loves you. From the sounds of it, you have made him prove it already.
So how do you get back to your old self? You DO it. Nike says Just Do It. They mean it. What is holding you back? Things don't happen to you. You MAKE them happen.
You are "Just a Nursing Major"???? I think your view of yourself is clouded. You have chosen to pursue a career in a difficult field, you already have identified that you are allowing negative thoughts to motivate behavior that you regret.
Value yourself!! Make a list (yes, I said that) of all your positive qualities, including those you are most complimented on. Write them down on post it notes, pick one at random and stick it to your bathroom mirror. Remember that quality throughout that day. Relationships can not be successful with out honestly and loving ourselves.
Sounds like some serious self-esteem issues. Find a good book/workbook on improving self-esteem and begin the hard work. There is no easy way out of this. Just keep at it. Things will improve.