Do i have post-natal depression??!
Question: I have two sons one 3 and one nearly six months, i had my second one 5 weeks prematurely, no idea why, ever since i had him and they put him on me i feel as if i cannot bond with him, i feel so awful because i really want to, and because with my first son i loved him as soon as i first layed eyes on him
I don't want people to think bad of me cause i do love him but i am finding it so hard to cope, it seems like he is crying all the time and i just can't get away from him, i have a fantastic partner who is both of my sons father ands he does nearly everything,its not that i dont want to but i just try and avoid anything that means i have to be with my son for too long, i feel down, tired all the time and sometimes start cry and can't stop, i find to just keep going through life day to day, like i am living a lie, i would never harm my son and it hasnt entered my head which is why i dont know if im suffering or not,all this is ruining my relationship,thanks for listening,if anyone does
Answers: I have two sons one 3 and one nearly six months, i had my second one 5 weeks prematurely, no idea why, ever since i had him and they put him on me i feel as if i cannot bond with him, i feel so awful because i really want to, and because with my first son i loved him as soon as i first layed eyes on him
I don't want people to think bad of me cause i do love him but i am finding it so hard to cope, it seems like he is crying all the time and i just can't get away from him, i have a fantastic partner who is both of my sons father ands he does nearly everything,its not that i dont want to but i just try and avoid anything that means i have to be with my son for too long, i feel down, tired all the time and sometimes start cry and can't stop, i find to just keep going through life day to day, like i am living a lie, i would never harm my son and it hasnt entered my head which is why i dont know if im suffering or not,all this is ruining my relationship,thanks for listening,if anyone does
Awww...(((((BIG HUGS)))))) to you! Hon, you are overwhelmed from lack of sleep, stress from taking care of a screaming infant and an active toddler, plus getting your hormones back to normal!! It is normal to feel some frustration and possibly resentment, especially since you had him early (and may subconsciously feel unwarranted guilt) and had to deal with that along with taking care of two children now.
That being said, you display all of the signs of post-partum depression. Your feelings and emotions (and lack of sleep) are getting in the way of enjoying every day life. You are just going through the motions day to day. You need to see your healthcare provider as soon as possible.
I have had anxiety and depression issues for many years. They became worse after I had my second child, and more so after my third and I needed my medication switched in order to function. When my second daughter was born, I was happy to have her, but didn't feel the same way as when I had my first child. I felt so guilty for being so angry with this perfect little baby and not feeling bonded with her. She also had colic and cried for the first 7 months of her life. I felt out of control at being unable to help her at times. My third child, my son, was also unhappy his first 6-8 months of his life unless he was being held or attached to a boob. I also had two other children constantly demanding my time and attention and was extremely overwhelmed and felt so alone. My hormones were out of control, along with my thoughts and I would cry, scream at them, and was basically unhappy feeling like a horrible mom.
BUT...I wasn't a horrible mom...I was just a mom who needed extra help. Medication has done that for me. It sounds like you are extremely blessed to have a supportive partner. I hope he is able to give you a "break" when you are feeling overwhelmed. You need to focus on your health (mental AND physical) and put yourself first sometimes in order to take care of everyone else. There is a saying, "If mama ain't happy, nobody is happy." That rings true to where your emotions and actions actually affect others because they feed off your anxiety, etc.
Please make an appointment with your doctor. You don't need to suffer in silence anymore. There are also support groups and things if you need to speak with others about your feelings. You need a mental break and some time away (even if it's for a half hour to an hour to go soak in a bubble bath and read or paint your nails or anything). Everyone needs to get away at times. I find that I am a lot calmer if I am able to get away...even to do grocery shopping alone. You are able to focus on other things besides the kids. You are a great mom and you are NOT alone!! Bless your heart for all that you do!! Please take care of yourself and good luck with getting the help that you need. Here's another ((((((BIG HUG)))))) from someone who has been there!
it could be post partum depression, you should really ask your doc about it, tell them how you feel, there is help for you if it is post partum, but dont put it off, go now and talk to the doc about it.
I Really should c-go to the doc be4 things get out of had
My friend was going through that after she had her baby. She spoke with her doctor about it (as you should do), and he prescribed her a very mild dosage of Prozac (or something like it). I don't know what your feeling is on taking depression medication; some people are completely against taking mood-altering drugs, but what's worse: taking a pill or being miserable? If not, I suppose you could see a therapist or other clinician who could talk you through things. There is no transcendence in suffering. Good luck!
You should seek help immediately. It is possible that you have post partum depression. I am not saying you would do anything to hurt your child, but it does happen. Please, I am not judging you, I am not saying at all that you in particular would do something, but it is definately something that has happened, post partum depression can get out of control and really, you love your child, it just is different this time. SEEK MEDICAL HELP. There are meds that work wonders! If he is very fussy alot he may have colic. My fourth baby had it, and I feel for you, it is very difficult to deal with. Good luck, hun. You are so upset about everything, it is going to affect you. Don't keep it hidden anymore. You need help, there is nothing wrong with asking for it. I have 4 kids 10, 8, 5, and 3. I have days where I just want to crawl in a hole and stay there forever. But, then I have good days, life stinks sometimes and I too feel badly about the "bad" things I sometimes think, like wow, what did I get myself into, or I bit off a little more than I could chew. Medicines are ok when we have times like this. I really hope things get better for you.