I'm feeling really low?!
Question: I'm feeling really low right now, so can you give me some advice that will cheer me up and be more positive? I have social anxiety disorder and i confessed to someone i didn't know that well and they had been great until now. I have a very low opinion of myself and they had spent alot of time talking to me and helping me through the bad times but since saturday they have changed. First when i was texting them they made an excuse to end the conversation and now they won't really talk to me and the messages they send are really blunt and they don't put a kiss at the end which they always did. I always said if i get too much then tell me. What do i do now? Please cheer me up : )
Answers: I'm feeling really low right now, so can you give me some advice that will cheer me up and be more positive? I have social anxiety disorder and i confessed to someone i didn't know that well and they had been great until now. I have a very low opinion of myself and they had spent alot of time talking to me and helping me through the bad times but since saturday they have changed. First when i was texting them they made an excuse to end the conversation and now they won't really talk to me and the messages they send are really blunt and they don't put a kiss at the end which they always did. I always said if i get too much then tell me. What do i do now? Please cheer me up : )
People have lives and that's the reason why some people may get closer, help a while and then go away. Everybody has problems and things to handle...
When you talk too much about "your" problems and how "you" feel, people get tired and take some distance or just go away. That's completely normal.
I know what social phobia or social anxiety is, I had it myself long time ago, my son has it now and one sister has it. I know how you feel, or I'm closer to it than a "normal" person may be, because i've been there.
First, you need help, but not only outside help (from a therapist and maybe medication), but mostly "inside" help. You need to know that nobody could do for you what you can do for you yourself. If you are getting help now, you may know that a big part of social anxiety comes from the thoughts you are repeating yourself. It also comes from fear and wrong feelings and thoughts about yourself and people around you. It's not only a genetic thing, or something from your brain chemistry, it comes from the way you allow your brain to think things over and over.
I suggest you read a lot about your condition, try to relax in the way that suits you best: for me it was reading, helping animals and listening to music.
You have to challenge yourself and take a walk, do some volunteer job with people or "beings" that make you feel better, sometimes it is kids, sometimes the elder, sometimes disabled people, sometimes animal shelters, sometimes plants, whatever makes you feel useful and better with yourself.
Everybody has something to give: but you need to take care of yourself, discover what makes you feel good and begin feeling better about your strenghts (and how to handle your weaks), so you can give what you have to others.
When you talk to people, don't cry on their shoulders, don't let them know too much about yourself. As I said before, not everybody understands and has the patience to become your friend and stay there when the tough times come. Most people are not selfish, they just have their own families, friends, jobs, studies and problems, and they may not know how to handle yours...you may overwhelm them with your feelings and thoughts, they may try to listen and help, but if they don't see you better, they may become too tired.
Take care and good luck, you'll be over it. Life is good...
awwww .... dont be so hard on yourself...
just ignore 'them', whoever 'they' are.... go for a movie with friends who really care for you, or spend some time with your family...
or do something that YOU enjoy doing, like painting or reading a book or go for a jogging to a nearby park. trust me watching the birds / children and people is a really relaxing thing.
or join your local gym or swimming pool and do some exercise, it really helps in depression and anxiety situations - i have been through it. take one day at a time.
dont be too dependent or expectant of someone, they may not understand you fully and sometimes people dont understand how their actions can affect other people. just ignore it, stop texting and calling them and they will come around eventually.
lastly, SMILE, chin up and enjoy what you have in life
:-)
Hey,
I'm sorry that your friend has been so odd with you.
As for cheering yourself up, why not search youtube for clips of your favourite comedy shows? That always puts a smile on my face.
Go see a mental health professional.So stay sweet and safe. xoxo. Think positive and STOP the Stinkin Thinkin.
well some people choose not to be bothered with other peoples stuff, me on theother hand i love trying toh elp people, sure i have my own issues but why should i allow that to get in the way of trying to befriend someone else? maybe the person you are talking to just doesn't want to be bothered with it anymore, maybe they feel like you are leaning on them too much. at times sweetie it can be kinda hard for some people to handle other's problems on top of their own. so maybe find a new friend and ease into the information sharing stage or like me find a pen pal, they are great...and i find it helps to relieve a lot of tension and stress build up.
if i can help in anything i am here
Everyone of us has moments like that and I'm sure you will get over it. The only advice I can give you is to go out and get some fresh air even if you go on your own try to look at things in a different perspective!life can not be that bad as there must be something in your life that cheers you up. go treat yourself in a spa or even just get your nails done. I usually just go on a shopping spree alone and try to build upo my self esteem. Don't worry you are not alone and you will get over it be positive!!xx
Yikes. I feel bad for saying this but i have been like the person on the other end, being blunt. I try not to be that way anymore.
However i understand your pain, it sucks when you start to depend on someone emotionally and then all of a sudden starts acting very harsh. It can be very damaging.
If you dont have too many friends you can trust, try making a pen pal or something online. There is always someone willing to listen and lend some advice. :)
Currently, your morale is very low and that is why you are not thinking positively. Getting some friends to talk about what you are encountering is good and bad.
Good is that if your friends could listen to your problems whatsoever and then provide certain positive suggestions and in a very tackful manner, you will feel better.
But what if some of them will to give negative suggestions, they only worsen your situation.
I would like to suggest that perhaps you may wish to consider getting 2 or 3 of your friends whom you know that you can confide with and this might overcome your situation. Try his out.
awwwwwwww po' baby. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have social anxiety disorder, some more severe than others. If the person you were texting can't accept you for who you are than they werent worth your time anyway. Don't chase someone or worry about someone that isn't doing the same for you, they're just a person like you. Nothing special and nothing to cry over. I'm pretty sure you'll find someone else who has the ability to make you feel better about yourself like the person you were talking to did seeing as how there are over 1 billion people in this world. But my advice to you is to learn how to make yourself feel better about yourself, that way if someone does let you down, you won't feel too bad about it because you can always pick yourself back up and move on. You won't be dependent on that one person to make you feel better. Anyway, I hope I cheered you up some. Keep your head up boo.
I have been there and continue to feel the same. I had a so called friend this last summer that did the same to me. Others ,if they havent been in our situation do not REALLY understand our disorder. It is my advice ,that I learned after telling others of my situation several times, NOT to tell those people of your disorder. Somethings are best kept to yourself. I just hope and pray that it doesnt someday happen to them. Keep yourself busy. I know this is hard as I lay on the couch alot myself, cry and do not always practice what I preach. I have faith in GOD that someday we will overcome this. Life never used to be like this and how did it get this way? Only we can make it happen. Be strong and know that U are capable of handling everything, Going to dr.s doesnt help as they have never been in this situation and push meds that arent necessarily good for us. How would dr's handle this situation if they had it???? I could write a book on all the advice I got from Dr's (therapists) that have never been in a situation like this. Get plenty of exercise, (walks etc) eat heathy foods,drink plenty of water. Know that U are NO.1. do not worry what others think. U are a wonderful person. They all have cobwebs in their closet, they just dont tell us. At least we are open and honest!!!!
When u get up each morning ts may be good to write ten pages of whatever comes into your mind, its a good way of getting stuff off your chest. If not ten pages, maybe 3. When you write down stuff its easier for u to understand it, so youre not only getting it out you re also understanding it, and you are doing this on your own which is better than relying on somebody else, as these days people are too busy and they may only care for a while anyway, and maybe sometimes have a lot on their plate anyway, or not able to deal with someone attaching to them too much. Writing it all down will help bigtime to lighten the load and will therefore help u to see things more clearly. It maybe good to tell yourself positive stuff in your own head, somethings like....I love myself, I will go to the shop today and will enjoy the walk. tell yourself positive things and by doing this everyday you will start to believe these positive things. Maybe write positive things down about yourself and look at them every day and add more and more, this will give u confidence in yourself. I agree comedy is a great way to have a laugh and you tube has it all, esp. Billy Connelly, Dave Allen, Darragh O Brien to name a few, but there r loads you re sure to enjoy. Maybe u could take up a musical instrument, it may give you hours of fun, challenge and you could play along with your favourite cds, playing music is a great way to socialise esp. if you have a phobia, just think you can play away in a session , hang out wit cool people and u dont even need to feel pressurised into talking, just play away to your hearts content. Another thing that may help is dancing. Dancing makes everyone feel happy I think. You can learn how to do hiphop dance from youtube also, if you enjoy it and learning it you may feel excited to learn new steps each day. I hope this helps you
Have you tried internet search for people in same situation as you? maybe somebody out there needs cheering up by you ! Would'nt that make you feel better knowing you had helped somebody else ?