Helping a loved on with addiction.?!
Question: Helping a loved on with addiction!.!?
my boyfriend was addicted to oxycontin 2 years ago and stopped on his own!. he was in irac for the last 7 months and when he came home started taking the pills again!.!. he stopped over a week ago and is now starting rehab next week!.
my problem is i was lied to for the last 2 months and i am very hurt, i dont do drugs and never have so i really dont know how to handle this!. i know that he truely does want to stop and he is willing to go through th pain!. but i feel like i cant trust him be cause when he is using he is very good at hiding it!. i want him to be healthy and clean but idk how to know if he will be when he comes home from rehab!. and he told me the worst thing i can do is to nag him but i feel like my trust for him has been broken so i think my concern as to where is is and what he is doing is not near as much as what he has put me through!. my main concern is that he stays clean!. so does anyone know how to talk to him and how to go about helping him get past this!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
my problem is i was lied to for the last 2 months and i am very hurt, i dont do drugs and never have so i really dont know how to handle this!. i know that he truely does want to stop and he is willing to go through th pain!. but i feel like i cant trust him be cause when he is using he is very good at hiding it!. i want him to be healthy and clean but idk how to know if he will be when he comes home from rehab!. and he told me the worst thing i can do is to nag him but i feel like my trust for him has been broken so i think my concern as to where is is and what he is doing is not near as much as what he has put me through!. my main concern is that he stays clean!. so does anyone know how to talk to him and how to go about helping him get past this!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I know exactly how you feel!!! You feel like if you dont ask everyday to make sure they are not lying to you, that they are going to some how slip away again!. It some how gives you a little peace to just ask and have them reasure you they are not still doing it or slipped up!. Just getting to that point of trust again is so so hard, because you always think why would the person that i love so much do this to me, even though we know that is actually the drug that has stolen them away, but we some how want to be so important to them that they love you so much that would be enough reason to never go back! I think that it will take time to heal and trust again, time for him to not only say he is done,but also prove to you! As hard as it is yea nagging will make them angry,but i would just some how remind him every day everything that is important to him in life, and tell him how all those pills do is to rob him of all that ,and all the wonderful things his future holds!! Tell him how much you love him,and how you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you can trust and will love you enough to not go back to something that causes you so much pain!. Tell him you dont want to nag him, but tell him just how hurt you were when you were lied to and that you cant bare to hurt like that again,that it is so hard to watch someone so wonderful who can be anything in life they choose get lost in something so bad, tell him you love him to much to let him do that to himself, and that your sorry if at times you seem to much of a nag, but it is only because you care so so very much!. And just pray every night for god to help him out of this terrible thing that has taken already to many good days of life away from him! I wish you the best of luck,and hope that this time he will do so good and never turn back!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
You can't help him on your own!. Wait till he gets out of rehab!. If you truly love him, give him a chance to get better!. If he starts it again, then get away from him for good!. I believe in giving someone a chance, but if he screws with you, remember there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you don't need the problems that come with an addict!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Just go to him and tell him, that if he keeps doing this that your going to break up, or whatever, tell him that you would rather him tell then for him to keep it a secret, and if he said he will go through the pain help him, watch what he does, tell him not to take those, just things like that, don't worry if he has the nerve to hide if from you you have the nerve to tell him noWww@Answer-Health@Com
Opiates are very addictive!. They are one of the hardest things to stop!. It can be as hard as heroin to stop!. You should talk to him one on one and explain this and how it is making you feel!. Him having this without a scripit could mean over a year in prison!. I think some counseling with an addiction medicine specialist would work and they could get him on the correct treatment pathWww@Answer-Health@Com
he needs some out patient therapy!. Check your local hospital or rehab facility!.!.!. BE there and SUPPORT HIMWww@Answer-Health@Com
If you want to understand what he is going through watch the Movie Train Spotting!.
Seeing a loved one go through addiction is not easy!.
I have watched my sister destroy her life for the past three years with opiates!.
She went into rehab, stopped then found out she had stage 4 Cancer!.
When you go through something traumatic the temptation to return to these things is going to come back!. He will be dealing with this
the rest of his life!.
You said your boyfriend went to Iraq!. He probably saw some messed up stuff there!. It wasn't easy I am sure!.
He needs to stay strong, and stay away from
people who are into this kind of stuff!.
He needs you to be there and to love him
and to do the best you can to understand!.
If you give up on him, then he may also give up on himself, and that is the very worst thing that can happen!.
He needs to know your there for him and
that you love him!.
He absolutely needs rehab to get through this
though!. Trying to stop cold turkey without
a doctors help could kill him!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Seeing a loved one go through addiction is not easy!.
I have watched my sister destroy her life for the past three years with opiates!.
She went into rehab, stopped then found out she had stage 4 Cancer!.
When you go through something traumatic the temptation to return to these things is going to come back!. He will be dealing with this
the rest of his life!.
You said your boyfriend went to Iraq!. He probably saw some messed up stuff there!. It wasn't easy I am sure!.
He needs to stay strong, and stay away from
people who are into this kind of stuff!.
He needs you to be there and to love him
and to do the best you can to understand!.
If you give up on him, then he may also give up on himself, and that is the very worst thing that can happen!.
He needs to know your there for him and
that you love him!.
He absolutely needs rehab to get through this
though!. Trying to stop cold turkey without
a doctors help could kill him!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
First of all congratulations for reaching out for help!. Hopefully rehab will include sessions with family and loved ones!. In the meantime get yourself to Alanon meetings!. If you can't find them in the telephone book call AA and you will be helped!. Your hurt and lack of trust not only have to do with him but more importantly they are your feelings and you need your own time and space to work it through!. You sound like a compassionate person!. Now is the time to have some compassion for yourself!. You will be surprised to find you are not alone!. Go for it - you are both worth it!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Those of us without addiction issues will never understand the addiction process!. If you are to continue having this person in your life, you must have open communication!. They are starting over with rehab, and you have to start over and trust him to do the right thing!. I do believe he intends to do the right thing, as he has made the step towards rehabiliation!.
This is what I told my brother in November when he entered a Rehabiliation Facility: I love you!. I am behind you 100%!. I will do anything to facilitate your recovery!. But I want you to know that I will not enable you in the future, and if you chose to use again, you will not be welcome in my house or around my children!.
You may consider speaking to a drug abuse counselor or visiting a meeting of NA (Narcotics Anonymous) for more professional advise!.
My best wishes to both of you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This is what I told my brother in November when he entered a Rehabiliation Facility: I love you!. I am behind you 100%!. I will do anything to facilitate your recovery!. But I want you to know that I will not enable you in the future, and if you chose to use again, you will not be welcome in my house or around my children!.
You may consider speaking to a drug abuse counselor or visiting a meeting of NA (Narcotics Anonymous) for more professional advise!.
My best wishes to both of you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It sounds like you are really hurt by being lied to by your boyfriend (I would be as well)!. It will take some time to get over this and to learn to trust him again!.
While he is in rehab, perhaps you could seek out some counseling from a therapist for yourself!. He or she will be able to give you concrete things on what you can do to help your boyfriend stay clean and sober, although in the end, it is his responsibility and choice to do so!. The therapist will also be able to provide you with some better ways to communicate with your boyfriend about his addiction and his feelings!.
You and your boyfriend may want to consider going to couples counseling once he is out of rehab as well!. That will help you talk about your feelings and rebuild the trust you have lost in him!.
There (unfortunately) is no "quick fix" for this situation!. Rebuilding trust in him will take some time, and some time apart may help you do that!.
I hope this helps some!.
http://anxiety!.today!.comWww@Answer-Health@Com
While he is in rehab, perhaps you could seek out some counseling from a therapist for yourself!. He or she will be able to give you concrete things on what you can do to help your boyfriend stay clean and sober, although in the end, it is his responsibility and choice to do so!. The therapist will also be able to provide you with some better ways to communicate with your boyfriend about his addiction and his feelings!.
You and your boyfriend may want to consider going to couples counseling once he is out of rehab as well!. That will help you talk about your feelings and rebuild the trust you have lost in him!.
There (unfortunately) is no "quick fix" for this situation!. Rebuilding trust in him will take some time, and some time apart may help you do that!.
I hope this helps some!.
http://anxiety!.today!.comWww@Answer-Health@Com