How do you handle it when something like this happens?!
Question: How do you handle it when something like this happens!?
you ask a lot of emotive questions on here relating to your personality disorder, ptsd, your traumatic life, that fact that your 31 and missed out on everything , the fact that you've lived alone for 4 years on disability , never formed any social relationships etc!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
starting from a blank slate because you'd missed out on employment, qualifications have a criminal record etc!.
ive been asking questions relating to this since early 2007, and people reach out to you , email you, convey that they care and would want to be your friend , they connect to you , you add them as a contact , but its like ; once they get to know a bit more about you, know you better , they lose interest and are off , you don't hear from them again!.!.!.!.!.
empty promises, unrequited friendships , i feel really enraged that this is all ive ever experienced in life - rejections , let downs , one sided friendships!.!.
i know you cant make people stick by you and be there for you, but it makes me so annoyed and enraged!.
ive always suffered low self esteem and i think that may cause me to get rejected to!.
get to clingy, to desperate, too needy, struggle to maintain a conversation, feel inferior, struggle to feel good about myself etc!.
but damn ! im nearly 31 now ! ive spent my life in misery!
i hold on to dreams and ambitions that seem very remote, of leaving england , living in a non ccommercialized part of spain, a home near the sea, a wife, a lifestyle a few friendships, a simple life - but for me its very far off and im greatly disadvantaged!.!.
meanwhile im really angry about these people who you feel yyou'veformed relationships with!.!.!.!.!.!.!.they get to know a bit more about you!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.then you never hear from them again ( relating to the internet )
i cant pretend it doesn't bother me when it does!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
starting from a blank slate because you'd missed out on employment, qualifications have a criminal record etc!.
ive been asking questions relating to this since early 2007, and people reach out to you , email you, convey that they care and would want to be your friend , they connect to you , you add them as a contact , but its like ; once they get to know a bit more about you, know you better , they lose interest and are off , you don't hear from them again!.!.!.!.!.
empty promises, unrequited friendships , i feel really enraged that this is all ive ever experienced in life - rejections , let downs , one sided friendships!.!.
i know you cant make people stick by you and be there for you, but it makes me so annoyed and enraged!.
ive always suffered low self esteem and i think that may cause me to get rejected to!.
get to clingy, to desperate, too needy, struggle to maintain a conversation, feel inferior, struggle to feel good about myself etc!.
but damn ! im nearly 31 now ! ive spent my life in misery!
i hold on to dreams and ambitions that seem very remote, of leaving england , living in a non ccommercialized part of spain, a home near the sea, a wife, a lifestyle a few friendships, a simple life - but for me its very far off and im greatly disadvantaged!.!.
meanwhile im really angry about these people who you feel yyou'veformed relationships with!.!.!.!.!.!.!.they get to know a bit more about you!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.then you never hear from them again ( relating to the internet )
i cant pretend it doesn't bother me when it does!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
One sided IS the problem why people move on!. For a friendship to last, it needs to be emotionally fulfilling for both people!. I suspect that what might be happening with you is that people who are nurturers offer you help and friendship!. They wait for you to reciprocate with some kind of emotional payoff - eg!. you begin to show some signs of increasing happiness because of their friendship towards you, thank them, trust them or think of them as a good person!. That's what nurturers are all about!.!.!. they want to see that their efforts make a difference to the happiness of other people and they want to see themselves as good people!.
But when it appears that their efforts to nurture and help you are not resulting in any kind of improvement in your levels of happiness, or when you hint that they are not good people, their feelings of wanting to nurture you become drained and they move away!.
Think about it!. When people give so much heart to help you, you need to realise that if you don't reciprocate in some way (eg!. by having genuine affection for them, feeling kindly and thankful towards them, or even just showing an improvement in your own happiness) !.!.!. they will naturally withdraw from you and find someone to help who will appreciate them more!.
Appreciation is the key here!. You take what you can get, and say thank you!. This is really not the right saying in this situation but!.!.!. "You don't bite the hand that feeds you!."
People with BPD often can't see how their own behaviour is triggering the negative reactions that other people have towards them!. Try not to blame other people because they will withdraw from you when you do that!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
But when it appears that their efforts to nurture and help you are not resulting in any kind of improvement in your levels of happiness, or when you hint that they are not good people, their feelings of wanting to nurture you become drained and they move away!.
Think about it!. When people give so much heart to help you, you need to realise that if you don't reciprocate in some way (eg!. by having genuine affection for them, feeling kindly and thankful towards them, or even just showing an improvement in your own happiness) !.!.!. they will naturally withdraw from you and find someone to help who will appreciate them more!.
Appreciation is the key here!. You take what you can get, and say thank you!. This is really not the right saying in this situation but!.!.!. "You don't bite the hand that feeds you!."
People with BPD often can't see how their own behaviour is triggering the negative reactions that other people have towards them!. Try not to blame other people because they will withdraw from you when you do that!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Nothing is impossible in this life!.!.!.!.!.you just have to get up and do it!.!.!.I know 30 year old african guys that are getting their undergraduate degree in engineering (along with 20 year olds) and somehow paying the high costs of college in the US when years ago they thought that they would never make it!.!.!.but they fought for it!.!.!.!.!.selll your possessions!.!.!.!.!.make you Transition man!.!.!.dont give up on yourself!.!.!.!.cause if you do then you are F'ed!.!.!.again THERE are people that have done the impossible and you think you cant somehow quick start your dreams!? think again start by getting the hell out of England if thats what ya want and go to spain work in a restaurant bussing table!.!.!.!.work in a freaking farm for god's sake (my dad did this in exeter in the 80's) !.!.!.just dont give up and make ur transition!.!.!.and sorry if we piss you off !.!.!.i personally dont make friends in the internet!.!.!.!.that doesnt mean i dont care about ppl so have a nice day sir!.!.!.and think about what ive told ya!.!.peaceWww@Answer-Health@Com