Anorexia destroys your life!?!

Amen, girl. You are locking yourself up in your own self-imposed prison. I was a purging anorexic for 8 years. I had no friends, no boyfriend, everyone was better off without me. All I cared about was purging everything I put in my mouth. I was in the hospital several times for severe electrolyte imbalances and I had a heart attack at 26. THAT didn't stop me. I can tell you what did, but it was very personal to me. I saw a religious movie that was in theaters at the time, and I was so moved and felt so guilty about what I was doing to my body that my thinking started to change. I was in rehab for the anorexia, but all that did for me was that I learned "tips and tricks." It just made me worse. I literally lost almost a decade of my life. You are very bright, you know what you are doing is unhealthy and ruining your life. It's "funny" that eating disorders are born out of a need for control, but before you know it, the ED has complete control over YOU. Oh, I feel for you. Back to what I was saying though (your question brought back a lot of memories so this is a bit disjointed) what I did was start eating vegetarian foods (without purging.) They are healthy and in general, low cal. I gained weight, but it was so slowly it didn't bother me. Now, I'm 90% better and no longer a vegetarian. Basically, with any addiction and I think food and using it for control is absolutely an addiction, you have to hit your "rock bottom." Something will click in your head that tells you enough is enough, and you will get your life back. I just hope it's soon, and you don't suffer the lingering ramifications I do. Also, my mother died from anorexia when I was 18 months old. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here and I understand. God Bless.

:( i feel very bad for you you should probably go to a specialist and read the bible the only thing that matters is on the inside not the outside no matter what size and shape you are you are beautiful in god's eyes and that is all that should matter.