How to be confident and rid yourself of a guilty conscience?!
Question:
How to be confident and rid yourself of a guilty conscience?
If I screw up I feel guilty and ashamed. If a slightly step out of line I feel persecuted, yet the behavior continues. I'm not a horrible person, but sometimes I say or do things that aren't so nice, only in the presence of others that wouldn't be offended. But later I feel guilty. Events that took place years in the past still haunt me and make me live in constant guilt. Some days are better than others. I live life in constant fear that I'm about to do something wrong, and if I do something that I will be highly criticized and possibly even scolded or shunned. I feel that I don't meet standards that I should and everything that I have is mine because of pot luck. Guilt really drives my life, there is no reason for it but it is always there. I feel like if I try to have the slightest bit of a good time, that one way or the other, there will be someone to tell me that I'm wrong. Most of the time it seems like it's in my head, other times it is real. I don't know what to think. Help.
Answers:
Have you seen a Psychologist? You sound almost the same as me. Constant fear of doing things wrong and being criticized- major anxiety, and the overwhelming guilt sounds like major depression. I have just started to see a psychologist and I can already tell it's going to do wonders. I was too scared and embarrassed to see one for about 11 years, but things really got bad and my partner nearly left me so I bit the bullet about 3 weeks ago. I have been prescribed Efexor- which isn't just an antidepressant, it's for anxiety disorders, which it sounds like you have. Get to the doctor and ask them to refer you to a psychologist. Please do it because you can't keep going on like this. And ignore those other answers that said be tough skinned, or what did you do wrong, because they obviously haven't experienced it. I can't stand reading those heartless answers. Anyway, good luck. I wouldn't normally give my email but I think you could maybe benefit from talking to someone who has similar problems. I don't know you but I do care. Here is my email- jd_weare@yahoo.com