What should I do?!

What should I do?

I have this fake feeling of reality all the time(derealization??)I feel like I'm not really living or alive.i tried going to a therapist,but that didn't work.Does medication eliminate that feeling??I'm 13!!What should I do??I don't wanna do anything I used to love..like going camping because I'm afraid!! This feeling is getting worse everyday!!i am afraid to go to school!!i can't remember anything!!including my name(most of the time)and I have to keep asking myself if I'm really alive and here,and if everything around me is really there!!!WHat should I do??I have trouble talking sometimes

The symptoms you describe are reflective of a dissociative disorder. I really encourage you to give therapy another try. As is true of any profession, there are those who are excellent, and there are those who are duds. Perhaps you had the unfortunately experience of running across a "dud" or someone who simply was not properly equipped to assist you.

Please re-consider therapy. Talk with your parents about your symptoms, and let them know how frightened you are becoming.

In the meantime, you may benefit from learning some simple grounding techniques. When the feelings of derealization/depresonalizatio... manifest themselves, make a concerted effort to choose a single sensory modality, and change it dramatically; then focus on that single sensation.

For example, some folks who struggle with these symptoms find that holding a piece of ice to their arm for a few minutes chances the sensory stiumli enough to "shake you back", so to speak. Other sensory modality changes could include smelling strong perfume, running your fingers repeatedly over soft brush bristles, or listening to a particular piece of music. Your therapist can help you develop some grounding techniques that are most effective for you. Mindfulness exercises can also be beneficial.

Best of luck,
~M~