Why have I started doing this?!
Question: Why have I started doing this?
Answers:
Plain and simple, you're a drug addict. Addiction is a bear to break.
Well, here is the thing. If you are doing something that you can't share with your girlfriend/wife then you probably shouldn't be doing it. You are playing a dangerous game. Doing something that goes against your partners wishes/beliefs is a great way to find yourself single. Also, you state that you are having a kid. You now have a bigger responsibility than yourself. Being a Dad is the greatest feeling in the world, but now you will have someone looking to you for the right answers and the right way to go through life. Think to yourself, is this something I would want my child to do? If not, then it probably isn't something you should be doing.
Not trying to be "holier than thou", but hiding a habit like this will lead to more problems than I think that you want to have. Not to mention you say you are a A&P. As a private pilot I sure don't want my mechanic to be near anything that can make him high. I rely on you to make sure I am safe.