How can I make my loved one understand he can't use crystral meth anymore?!
Question: How can I make my loved one understand he can't use crystral meth anymore!?
I posted a question about a year ago worried about my boyfriends crystal meth usage!. He was arrested for possession 5 months after losing his job and 2 days after being arrested he found out he lost his new job offer due to failing a drug test!. These events shook him up in realizing that meth was getting him nowhere!.
He was clean for 5 months and we were back to being happy!. Then he's on the computer the whole night long, taking things apart, you know, signs that I KNOW he's using!. I confront him, denial!. So I showed him his stash so he couldn't lie that he wasn't and told him I can't go through that again (the fear of him being taken away)!.
Don't tell me to leave him, it's not an option!. We've been together 3 years and are basically married, and he needs someone to love and help him right now!. If he gets caught again, he'll get deported (he's from Europe)!. How can I get him to understand the consequences he will face and why the hell would he play with the fire that burned him!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
He was clean for 5 months and we were back to being happy!. Then he's on the computer the whole night long, taking things apart, you know, signs that I KNOW he's using!. I confront him, denial!. So I showed him his stash so he couldn't lie that he wasn't and told him I can't go through that again (the fear of him being taken away)!.
Don't tell me to leave him, it's not an option!. We've been together 3 years and are basically married, and he needs someone to love and help him right now!. If he gets caught again, he'll get deported (he's from Europe)!. How can I get him to understand the consequences he will face and why the hell would he play with the fire that burned him!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Okay, ill be nice and simple and as understanding as I can!.
And i wouldn't dream of telling you to split ways with him, i know how love is in situations like this =) *hug*
Basicaly- hes gone back onto it, not because hes addicted!.!.!.but probably because he has something on his mind!.
[background knowledge for your benifit]
when you eat or drink something, the memories and feelings you have when you first eat/drink it are subconsiously recorded and when you feel it again you may think of that food or drink!. It is the same with drugs!.!.!.
whatever was on his mind when he started it, the feelings or emotions as well as the blinding addiction will have brought him back to it!.
lets say for example- he wanted an additional path to go down in life, because there is nothing he feels he can turn to- then that would possibly be the reason!.
(use this knowledge and talk to him about the first time around)
Secondly- if he knows its partially ruined his life before, the feelings he gets from it over power it, so by investigation and communication you will be able to provide the effect of that drug for him in a more healthy less pollutant way!.
Now, to sort it!.!.!.
Talk to him, but pretend to understand how he feels and go along with what he says, then slowely make him contradict himself BUT make sure you're calm and seemingly on his side at all times, once he sees the contradictions hes making, he will still deny it, however he will take it in even if he doesn't want to, THEN with that in mind you can strike him with your usual way of trying to get him out of it
another way-
If he isn't violent to you, then cut his ability to gain the drug, he will thank you for it later!.!.!.
perhaps take the money off him!? go to the shops for him or go out with him , supervision like, it might seem "privacy invading" but he wont mind once he realises how you have helped him (BUT STAY CALM ALWAYS)
also-
again if he isnt violent in any way to you, cheerily smile and take his drugs off him, hug him and build an intamcy, take his mind off things with something better ;) (!?)
another-
Tell him your plans for the future, use his OWN ambitions against him, say!.!.!.he wants to be a footballer!.!.!.tell him he wont get into a team taking that, tell him you will take him to the gym to train (etc!.!.!. you get the idea)
that kind of thing
ultimatly- take his mind off it with something better
use his pride/confidence against him, even if it does seem mean it is HELPING him and he WILL thank you in the end
hope this helps, if not contact me and ill get back to you again =)
Corinthius!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
And i wouldn't dream of telling you to split ways with him, i know how love is in situations like this =) *hug*
Basicaly- hes gone back onto it, not because hes addicted!.!.!.but probably because he has something on his mind!.
[background knowledge for your benifit]
when you eat or drink something, the memories and feelings you have when you first eat/drink it are subconsiously recorded and when you feel it again you may think of that food or drink!. It is the same with drugs!.!.!.
whatever was on his mind when he started it, the feelings or emotions as well as the blinding addiction will have brought him back to it!.
lets say for example- he wanted an additional path to go down in life, because there is nothing he feels he can turn to- then that would possibly be the reason!.
(use this knowledge and talk to him about the first time around)
Secondly- if he knows its partially ruined his life before, the feelings he gets from it over power it, so by investigation and communication you will be able to provide the effect of that drug for him in a more healthy less pollutant way!.
Now, to sort it!.!.!.
Talk to him, but pretend to understand how he feels and go along with what he says, then slowely make him contradict himself BUT make sure you're calm and seemingly on his side at all times, once he sees the contradictions hes making, he will still deny it, however he will take it in even if he doesn't want to, THEN with that in mind you can strike him with your usual way of trying to get him out of it
another way-
If he isn't violent to you, then cut his ability to gain the drug, he will thank you for it later!.!.!.
perhaps take the money off him!? go to the shops for him or go out with him , supervision like, it might seem "privacy invading" but he wont mind once he realises how you have helped him (BUT STAY CALM ALWAYS)
also-
again if he isnt violent in any way to you, cheerily smile and take his drugs off him, hug him and build an intamcy, take his mind off things with something better ;) (!?)
another-
Tell him your plans for the future, use his OWN ambitions against him, say!.!.!.he wants to be a footballer!.!.!.tell him he wont get into a team taking that, tell him you will take him to the gym to train (etc!.!.!. you get the idea)
that kind of thing
ultimatly- take his mind off it with something better
use his pride/confidence against him, even if it does seem mean it is HELPING him and he WILL thank you in the end
hope this helps, if not contact me and ill get back to you again =)
Corinthius!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Tell him it is killing him!. Destroying his mind ruining his teeth, and the love you feel for him!. If he truly loves you then he has to understand if he does not stop using he will be deported and that means you two will be separated!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You can not love him into changing!.!.!.!. he has to want to change himself, if he wants it bad enough he will give it up on his own apparently he feels unhappy with himself alot and the meth is a way to feel better if for however long!. He probably has a bad self image as well!. But you have to face reality!.!.!. either you are going to continue in this relationship and your life will be a unsure, untrusting relationship until either, IF or he does give it up!. Now that he knows your not standing behind his habit he will begin to try hiding it from you!.!. like you already said!. You just have to decide what is best for you!.!.!. I mean if your willing to continue in this destructive manner I guess that is your choice, but you can not make him understand anything he has to make himself understand why he has to give it up!. You have to decide what is most important in your life and then you have to stick to what you decide!. I am not trying to be harsh I am trying to get you to see you CAN NOT do anything to make him stop not even love him enough he has to love himself enough to want to stop!. I am so sorry Good LuckWww@Answer-Health@Com
tell him that u love him and that u don't want to see him like that and screw up his life!. try to make him realize that if he gets caught again then he's going to get deported and then u won't be able to see him and he won't be able to see u!. (well unless u moved there, but i don't know if u would do that for him or not)!. have u considered maybe going to a rehab place!? it's kinda drastic, but maybe thats what he needs!. make sure u know where he is and what he's doing (but not the point of like following him or annoying him all the time) so u know that he's not out buying more or anything like that!. i hope the best for u, don't give up!. good luck =)Www@Answer-Health@Com