If I join AA, do I have to tell my spouse?!
Question: If I join AA, do I have to tell my spouse!?
Sort of a situation where danged if I do, danged if I don't!.!.!.
I know it would be dishonest - but the disclosure could cause problems!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know it would be dishonest - but the disclosure could cause problems!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
No you don't!. Spouses are a lot of times a big contributor to the drinking problem!.!.!.if it would cause problems!.!.keep it to yourself!.!.!.you'll find support from others in the support group (someone who's "graduated")!.!.!.!.you don't need more problems than you already have!.!.!.!.!.eventually, once you get your bearings together and go through some meetings you'll be stronger and more able to face things and deal with your problem!. Right now, get the help you need so at least you get your foot in the door towards the right start to recovery!.!.!.
And besides!.!.if the truth ever came out!.!.like he thinks you're having an affair instead of going to AA meetings - it'll be a relief that you were going to AA meetings!.
Go to the meetings first!. Then you'll learn how to deal with your spouse!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
And besides!.!.if the truth ever came out!.!.like he thinks you're having an affair instead of going to AA meetings - it'll be a relief that you were going to AA meetings!.
Go to the meetings first!. Then you'll learn how to deal with your spouse!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
If you don't have to explain your absence while you're at meetings, there's not reason why you'd have to explain!. If you're the drinker, I can't imagine why your spouse would complain!. Of course, the movie "When a Man Loves a Woman" is the perfect example of why co-dependents don't really want to see the alcoholic get better!. If you're talking about going to Al-anon!.!.!. well!.!.!.!. I suppose the drinker might object to you wisening up!.
Ordinarily, I object to spouses doing things behind each other's backs, but in your case, I say go for it!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Ordinarily, I object to spouses doing things behind each other's backs, but in your case, I say go for it!Www@Answer-Health@Com
You don't have to tell anyone that you are attending A!.A!. The most important thing is that you know you have a problem and you are working on finding a solution (and there IS a solution in AA)!. As you work on your drinking problem I am sure your spouse will notice the change in you!. Many people are caught in similar predicaments, perhaps you might meet one of them on your journey, they might be able to identify with you and perhaps let you know how they worked out their problem!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Yes, because she is going to need to get involved with Al-anon to learn how to live with an addict!.
One of the first things you learn is AA is to acknowledge that you are helpless in you addiction!. AA also asks that you be honest!.
Not involving your wife is dishonest!. Granted will be uncomfortable, but the greatest part of being an addict is being in denial!. Not telling your wife is part of denial- you think she doesn't have any idea about your addiction!?
In order to get clean, you have to come clean to not only yourself but to her!. Otherwise, you are still just an addict!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
One of the first things you learn is AA is to acknowledge that you are helpless in you addiction!. AA also asks that you be honest!.
Not involving your wife is dishonest!. Granted will be uncomfortable, but the greatest part of being an addict is being in denial!. Not telling your wife is part of denial- you think she doesn't have any idea about your addiction!?
In order to get clean, you have to come clean to not only yourself but to her!. Otherwise, you are still just an addict!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You don't have to tell anyone that you are joining AA!. If it's easier for you to go to the meetings without telling your spouse, go ahead and do that!. In the long run, you're going to be better off by at least joining AA than not going simply because you don't want to tell your spouse!.
I think more than likely your spouse will be proud of you for claiming your addiction, and recognizing that AA will help you, but if you're not ready, tell him/her when you are!.
You aren't required though to tell anyone!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think more than likely your spouse will be proud of you for claiming your addiction, and recognizing that AA will help you, but if you're not ready, tell him/her when you are!.
You aren't required though to tell anyone!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm going to guess you have a drinking problem, but you don't want your spouse to know about it!. As someone who was once a closet drinker, who quit drinking 10 years ago, my suggestion is that you try to avoid AA!. You do not need to join a religious cult in order to quit drinking!. There are a number of helpful resources online (smart recovery, lifering, SOS, women for sobriety)!. Give them a shot!. Ultimately the work of quitting drinking is yours!. If you want to quit, and are willing to go through some short-term discomfort, you've got all you need!. Sure, the face to face social support you get in AA is nice, but it comes at a very high price: the ability to think for yourself!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The more support people you have, the better chances of you getting over addiction!. It sounds like you are now ready to face reality!. But you have to remember, not all will be good!. It will get worse before it gets better, but you will come out stronger!. Good Luck!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
The choice is yours!. She may think you are cheating on her!. Does she not want to stop drinking!? Is that the problem it may cause!. Im kinda going through the same thing!. I gave up my addiction but my wife wont (doesnt see she has an addiction!.)
Take care of yourself first!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Take care of yourself first!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You don't have to, but if you don't she may think you're cheating on her or something, and if she wouldn't understand you going to it, maaybe it's time for a divorce!. But yeah you should definatly go it will improve your life alot!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Is it worth it to keep something so large from your spouse!? Going to AA means that you need support for you addiction and your biggest supporter should be your spouse!. Don't keep something like this from them!. Be honest and let them help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Your spouse will eventually ask where you go all the time when you attend meetings!. You had best be honest and up front right at the beginning!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The disclosure!? --could cause problems!?--what do you think booze has done to you!?
You are only as sick as your secrets-
lots of good answers here --thumbs up for all but 1Www@Answer-Health@Com
You are only as sick as your secrets-
lots of good answers here --thumbs up for all but 1Www@Answer-Health@Com
you dont have too!. but you should!. But na you dont have tooWww@Answer-Health@Com
I think that you would learn in your first AA meeting that you have to stop being dishonest if you truly want help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
No you dont have to but she might be proud to know you are trying to help yourself!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
U dun have 2 by NE means, but it would most likely be 4 the best if U did!
Timothy
:o)Www@Answer-Health@Com
Timothy
:o)Www@Answer-Health@Com
Mikey say not telling her create more problemsWww@Answer-Health@Com